whose_son_am_i | Meme-shenanigans and Continuations.

"I would deliver him the Tesseract. I learned mind control from him. It was...assured I would suffer, if I failed." He had failed, and been brought back to Asgard in chains. Silent for several moments, still trying to puzzle out what she was giving to him.

"He'll come for the Tesseract, if nothing else. But I believe he's searching for more than just that. Which is why I am meeting with the Sorcerer. And if necessary, Stark. It's also why I have been searching for a place to hide it, since I'm not sure it can be destroyed. That's what I've been doing since we came to Midgard."

It was important she know. Loki wasn't sure why, but it was. It mattered.

He was still baffled though. "...you should be angry at me." Why wasn't she angry? Rejecting him?

Everything he had done makes more sense. It doesn't make it good, or okay, but she can see some of the reasons why he would choose the path he had taken.

"Why should I be angry? This is just the background for what I already know."

"Then you're more of a fool than I thought." It was his turn to unconsciously project emotions. Tangles of fear and hurt, worry and anxiety and underneath it all a desperate loneliness still. His tone was not kind. "Everything I did, was to serve my own ends and myself. I cared nothing for this planet--I still believe that you all would be better off ruled--you're simply too stubborn to admit it. You're all children." Hissed out, pulling back and moving to hold her at arm's length. Anger born from fear and anxiety. "You're all heading into a larger universe than you could've dreamed of, and it's my fault. Hel--I may yet bring worse down on you."

The quick turn is a surprise and she is momentarily taken aback by it.

Her immediate response is to reply to those emotions with calm, it's the first time she's using her Empathy to try to change someones emotions though she doesn't actually mean to. She just wants to help.

"You don't mean all of that." She is handling this really well.

"I do." He's lying--a lie so good he almost believes it himself. The tangle of his emotions and strength of that anger born of fear and pain fighting with the calm she's projecting.

The link is so strong right now that there's a slip of emotion that she doesn't realize is trickling though: love.

"Okay. Then I am a fool and a child." It's said in a way that completely accepts his assessment.

That throws him entirely for a loop, and he looks like he's been hit. "Stop it." Hissed out again. How....

"How?"

Because she is neither a child nor a fool--and the fact that she'd agreed with him hurts. And he doesn't know fully why--or why it's so important. How can she still care about him?

"How what?"

She isn't trying to touch him, she's giving him some space and trying to keep her emotions from flowing too freely.

"...How can you..."

Care/not-be-angry/understand/accept? I'mamonsterandworthlessandnevergoodenough. Even his mental voice is a jumble and Loki isn't realizing that he's speaking to her that way.

She finally offers a hand to him.

"Can I hug you?"

There is is again, along with her calm, her acceptance, there's love.

"Why?" It's pleading. He's so confused; everything is too much and just...what does he do?

She doesn't give him a choice she's wrapping her arms around him and holding him close.

"I'm here. It's okay."

"Tell me why." He means it as an order, but it comes out pleading. Why is nothing going as he expected now? Things had been going wonderfully--and then he decided to take a chance and trust... and now it's all mixed up.

"Because I love you." She doesn't even recognize that the words have spilled from her mouth until it's too late.

She wasn't quite ready to make that admission.

She'd rendered him speechless, and for once Loki could think of nothing clever. Couldn't really think of anything at all... Unconsciously projecting still and if she tried to read him, he wasn't sure he could stop her.

She tries to feel his emotions, just because she's concerned. She isn't quite sure how he is going to take her admission.

His shields are still quite good, but what he's leaking... Confusion and fear...and a faint hope. Confusion leading to anger and fear of being hurt and rejected--he isn't sure why or how someone could love him? Cautious hope and wonder....

Sighing, Loki buried his head against her hair and hid. Winding himself around her again. "I don't understand why you would..." Softly and pleading.

She rubs his back, she's a steady and calming force right now.

"Because you're so smart, you're funny, you keep me challenged." A kiss to the top of his head. "You're a fantastic lover, and I'm never bored when you're around. My life needed a little chaos."

"I've done horrible things Christine." Still quietly voiced, unsure. "And I'd do them again, if I felt it necessary." But now he's clinging like he expects her to pull away.

"...not all of you are children or fools. But you are a very...immature race." Loki sighed, and tried to reach out mentally. You are not a child, Christine. You're stronger than I am in many ways. I...especially of this, if love is a gift---I don't feel worthy.

"I know. I think what you would do them for is different now."

She doesn't disagree that humans are immature as a species, still fighting stupid wars, ruining the planet; immature is a nice way to put it.

You've always been worthy of love.

"....Thank you. It is a precious gift, Christine." Thank you--this is why your soul burns like a star. Loki still didn't feel worth--but he was making an oath to himself. He would be worthy of her love, at least. And not even he broke oaths blithely.

Calmer now, and no little tired, but he wasn't letting her go. "Among my people...when we die, our souls can become stars. It happened to Mother, and to Father." So that she might know why he used the compliment he did for her--and what he meant by it.

His compliment makes more sense now and is incredibly flattering.

It sounds beautiful, sad, of course, but really lovely.

Then you give me a great compliment.

She doesn't let him go but she does start to walk them to the bedroom. There was a good bit of emotional exertion and even she is a little tired from it.

The emotional exertion has been more exhausting than anything else. He moves with her for a few steps, before scoffing slightly. To once more pick her up and carry her to the bedroom. Nothing in it other than a need for companionship, and to treat her well. So very ready to curl up with her, perhaps chat or perhaps simply to exist.

She chuckles softly when he picks her up.

"I guess that works too." She wants to snuggle up with him. She's missed just having him sleeping next to her.

"Were I human, I doubt you'd be heavy." But it brings a bit of a laugh from him as well. Once they're curled in bed, he brings her hand up to kiss. Then stretches them both together up--his over hers, teaching her wordlessly how to project an illusion. As if her bedroom has faded, and they're lying together under the stars.

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drpalmer - 2021-08-29 10:09 (UTC) - Expand