[It was odd, as again--he was used to being the target of ire. It did not necessarily sit well with him though, having Sky's. Quiet for quite a bit, before he sighed.]
If it helps at all, I have...changed, since being here. Am still changing. I can not say that my plans might not change too.
[Letting her have some distance, and some distance himself.]
I had made clear at the beginning that I do not do emotional attachments, yet I've found a few here that I very much want to keep. You are part of that, as I consider you my friend beyond any physicality we share. And...I do not like having a friend angry with me. I am still unused to having friends however, and those I've had before turned on me quite readily when they were upset with me too.
Maybe yours will, but others won't. ( And she knew how easy it could be for one person to fuck things up for everyone else.
She had been that person once before. )
I could be an asshole and say that I'm not surprised the god of trickery and deceit told a lie and is actually emotionally vulnerable. But I'm not- an asshole, nor am I surpised.
It doesn't matter, Loki. I'll get angry and upset and nothing will change. I don't even know why I bother.
[Asshole or not, her words struck a nerve and an open wound. His first impulse was to return barb for barb, lash out in anger. But...he was changing. So while the anger and pain pierced his neutral mask, Loki did not lash back this time.]
I can't say I know why you bother either, although I suppose I should be glad you're talking with me and venting rather than just bottling it up.
[Proud of himself that he'd kept his voice neutral.]
Do you not think I don't want my wish granted too, Sky?
Because I trust you, for whatever fucking reason. ( and maybe that was on her, given everything. )
I don't doubt you do. But we can't be stupid. I know you're investigating, I know people are making plans. But if none of those plans align it's all going to blow up in our faces.
[Now Loki was very confused. She'd just pointed out who he was--god of mischief, lies, and deceit. But she trusted him? The confusion was also clear on his face and expression, as he was quiet for a few more moments.]
I don't know why you would, when you yourself pointed out who I am a moment ago--being an asshole or not.
[It did not come out as an accusation, which is part of why Loki had been quiet. He wanted to be calm for this. It was rare that he wanted to keep people's trust, but here...not just with Sky but with others too, he found he did.]
You are correct, we can't be stupid. But I'm not certain how we would get everything in alignment either. You're also not wrong to worry about it all blowing up in ways we can't control.
Because I trust everyone until they prove me wrong. Even gods of lies.
( She can't imagine it would ever be a boon to lie to her anyway. She was no one. Nothing. Powerful as she may have been - in the grand scheme of things, if he wanted to manipulate her, he surely would have already.
And if he was, he probably wouldn't be so shocked to hear any of the shit she said. He would have anticipated it. )
The council meeting is a start, but it's nothing if everyone doesn't go to it to voice their opinions. I don't know how to get everyone together otherwise.
Start with the network, use it to call a meeting in person if you must because there will be those who don't trust it's not monitored. The counter to that is that if Vaeros can see and spy on us all at anytime anyway, then what we say over the network shouldn't matter. As you say, if not everyone goes to voice their opinions, then nothing will get done.
[That was easier to answer, and deal with for the moment, than her statement about trust. On the one hand, she was a fool to do so. Even so, Loki did not want to prove her wrong. Hoped that there would not come a time he would need to. "Friends" was such a difficult concept and he both hated it and was desperate for actual genuine companionship that friends provided. Especially since he'd gotten tastes of it here.
He did not reach for her, but did offer his hand if she wanted. Perhaps he needed the anchor too.]
I understand your frustration. It's hardly the first time I've been the target and recipient of ire whether earned myself or not. I won't tell you comforting lies, either, for what it is worth.
[Then, much more softly, after a breath in and out to be certain he wanted to do this.]
I want to remain friends, Sky. I want to keep your friendship, and to be one in turn. But I'm very new at it all, and it's never turned out well before for me.
I'll... think about it. ( Night Sky wasn't a leader. She did not make decisions for big groups of people nor did she rally to troops beyond those she may have worked with back home. The fear of just... pissing people off or stepping in toes was high, and it would not help anyone if they went down that road.
She looked at his hand, taking it after a pause. ) You're still my friend. We can disagree and not hate each other.
I hope that remains true. The 'friends' I've supposedly had before have all turned on me and suspected me of treachery. They were...not entirely wrong, but they also were not correct in the scope of my mischief. Then again, I was often not seen as much more than a tag along, the younger brother who played tricks and was far from a proper prince or warrior.
[Loki couldn't really keep the bitterness from his tone. He'd been convenient, saved the day a few times and yet it had never seemed to be valued by Thor, or his friends.]
Continue to prove me wrong then, please. I am honestly asking you to. Consider that I've not had good examples of what friendship is, at least, not directed at me.
[Okay, that came out a bit more bitter and snarky than Loki had intended, but he still held on to her hand.]
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whose_son_am_i) wrote2027-08-15 09:41 pm
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If it helps at all, I have...changed, since being here. Am still changing. I can not say that my plans might not change too.
[Letting her have some distance, and some distance himself.]
I had made clear at the beginning that I do not do emotional attachments, yet I've found a few here that I very much want to keep. You are part of that, as I consider you my friend beyond any physicality we share. And...I do not like having a friend angry with me. I am still unused to having friends however, and those I've had before turned on me quite readily when they were upset with me too.
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She had been that person once before. )
I could be an asshole and say that I'm not surprised the god of trickery and deceit told a lie and is actually emotionally vulnerable. But I'm not- an asshole, nor am I surpised.
It doesn't matter, Loki. I'll get angry and upset and nothing will change. I don't even know why I bother.
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I can't say I know why you bother either, although I suppose I should be glad you're talking with me and venting rather than just bottling it up.
[Proud of himself that he'd kept his voice neutral.]
Do you not think I don't want my wish granted too, Sky?
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I don't doubt you do. But we can't be stupid. I know you're investigating, I know people are making plans. But if none of those plans align it's all going to blow up in our faces.
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I don't know why you would, when you yourself pointed out who I am a moment ago--being an asshole or not.
[It did not come out as an accusation, which is part of why Loki had been quiet. He wanted to be calm for this. It was rare that he wanted to keep people's trust, but here...not just with Sky but with others too, he found he did.]
You are correct, we can't be stupid. But I'm not certain how we would get everything in alignment either. You're also not wrong to worry about it all blowing up in ways we can't control.
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( She can't imagine it would ever be a boon to lie to her anyway. She was no one. Nothing. Powerful as she may have been - in the grand scheme of things, if he wanted to manipulate her, he surely would have already.
And if he was, he probably wouldn't be so shocked to hear any of the shit she said. He would have anticipated it. )
The council meeting is a start, but it's nothing if everyone doesn't go to it to voice their opinions. I don't know how to get everyone together otherwise.
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[That was easier to answer, and deal with for the moment, than her statement about trust. On the one hand, she was a fool to do so. Even so, Loki did not want to prove her wrong. Hoped that there would not come a time he would need to. "Friends" was such a difficult concept and he both hated it and was desperate for actual genuine companionship that friends provided. Especially since he'd gotten tastes of it here.
He did not reach for her, but did offer his hand if she wanted. Perhaps he needed the anchor too.]
I understand your frustration. It's hardly the first time I've been the target and recipient of ire whether earned myself or not. I won't tell you comforting lies, either, for what it is worth.
[Then, much more softly, after a breath in and out to be certain he wanted to do this.]
I want to remain friends, Sky. I want to keep your friendship, and to be one in turn. But I'm very new at it all, and it's never turned out well before for me.
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She looked at his hand, taking it after a pause. ) You're still my friend. We can disagree and not hate each other.
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[Loki couldn't really keep the bitterness from his tone. He'd been convenient, saved the day a few times and yet it had never seemed to be valued by Thor, or his friends.]
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[Okay, that came out a bit more bitter and snarky than Loki had intended, but he still held on to her hand.]
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