whose_son_am_i | Labyrinthum IC Inbox

Well now Loki really was confused and a mix of emotions. Chaotic and overwhelming, and he didn't even seem to realize that his face was showing all of that. Or that he was crying now, one hand coming up to feel the wetness on his cheek. Looking at his hand like he didn't recognize it before turning blue-green eyes to Puck.

He couldn't find words--except that was a lie. He had too many, Loki had so many words he wasn't sure what ones to use or how to say them or even to make them make sense to himself much less to anyone else. He felt adrift, and in a way, also offered an anchor. Did he, could he take that anchor? Would it really be alright to do so?

Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself.

Remembered words and a pained parting, and he shook his head to wipe away the memory and reached for Puck. This time he wouldn't deny the anchor offered. He needed it, clinging to the fae and letting sobs from deep inside wrack him.

Puck watched the emotions and tears play out and smiled softly. Emotions could be overwhelming, and Loki didn't seem to be immune.

As Loki clung to him and sobbed, Puck held him tightly. His hands resumed rubbing small circles and he said gently into Loki's hair,

"Your Puck is right here."

It was helping, though this storm was awhile coming and was draining. It needed to happen though, and Loki just clung to Puck. Arms around him tightly, curling and hiding against him and taking the anchor that was offered. It was several moments before the sobs stopped, and then more still before he could speak softly.

"...I turned away the last person who ever truly loved me." Whisper quiet, and slightly hoarse from sobbing. "I didn't want to this time. You keep saying I'm a treasure--I'm not. You are. I've done horrible things, and been wrong my whole life, and when I try to do better I fail at it. But the gift you give me..." All kind of a babble there. "I don't feel worth it." A long and tired sigh, but Loki brought his head up. So Puck could see blue-green eyes that looked very young and lost but desperate too. "But I will protect it and keep it safe. I'll find away to be worth it, Puck. For you."

It did need to happen, and Puck was fine to remain that anchor as Loki went through everything. He continued his soothing movements, to show that he wasn't about to stop offering comfort.

"Then don't, this time." Puck said as quietly. At Loki's comment about not feeling worth it, Puck met Loki's gaze and felt his heart break a bit. Humans, it seemed, weren't the only beings who held onto the idea of needing to be worthy of love. It was a sad fact of things. But Puck would meet Loki where he was.

He leaned forward and pulled Loki into another tight hug. "Thank you. I know you'll do all of that, because you've already shown you can." Another kiss to Loki's head. "We'll protect each other, like we spoke of earlier."

Loki needed that tighter hug, and returned it. Leaning into the kiss too, and staying close as he nodded. Puck believed in him...loved him. That was so very precious to him, and Loki was promising himself he would be worth that and honor it. "We will." Agreeing with the other, before he gave a tired laugh. "I was originally supposed to be here comforting you. I didn't intend to..." Break. To be so vulnerable. "Thank you, though."

"It was quite the dinner, yes." Puck agreed with a laugh of his own. It had been a lot for both of them but Puck felt better that he'd been able to both give and receive comfort as well as tell Loki how he felt. Things felt much clearer, emotionally.

"You're welcome. Would you like to finish dessert, or do anything else? Or do nothing at all?". Puck caught the tiredness in Loki's laugh and didn't want to push, but he also didn't want to assume anything either.

"Oh we are finishing dessert. That sounds like the perfect comfort after all of this that isn't just what we're doing already." It was an emotional and mental tired, more than a true physical tired. A relieved kind of tired, really. "Honestly I'd like to just spend more time with you. Whether we do something or nothing. I've enjoyed your companionship from the start, and that has not changed, only gotten stronger."

Not that Loki'd be moving in together any time soon. He loved living with Alice too much, and did still want his independence. But he was glad and enjoyed when he was in the fae's presence and he wanted to keep that a bit more. Especially now.

Puck laughed and broke the hug, collecting the plates long enough to rewarm everything. He sat the heated plates back down and waited for Loki to sit before he took the seat across from him as before.

"I'll just barely hold off on making a very bad joke about the sweetness of all of this. But yes, we should spend more time together in general-- there's never anything wrong with good company, and you've demonstrated a great skill at it."

Puck likewise wouldn't suggest living together. He loved his friends and his loved ones, but also liked his privacy. He lived separate from Xanatos in Manhattan, and he didn't see that changing while he was in Somnius. But Puck would absolutely make time and space for Loki, either when asked or when Puck had the idea himself.

"I'll have to make sure to keep up." Puck gave a playful wink. "But I trust myself to do that."

"I do have quite a bit more of a sweet tooth than you." Loki remembered their experimenting with overly sugared punch at Webby's party. "You do keep up already, but I have had good several centuries more experience at it." The wink made him smile, genuine and fond.

"We can share stories, or read, or just do nothing. All sound like good ideas to me, as does just talking with you. Though I'll try to avoid bringing up anything else that might be disturbing."

"You do, yes." Puck remembered the punch and returned Loki's smile with an equally genuine one.

"Even if you did, I'd be all right with it." Puck assured him simply. Puck understood that it wasn't always going to be lighthearted banter, and was fine with that fact.

"I'll recall some stories, then." he said after some of the pie. "Or maybe I'll look for some more things to decorate with so it's more comfortable. Or both! I've done worse for places."

Loki wouldn't have been alright though. His world had just shifted quite a bit and he needed some time to adapt and process. Not processing had been part of why it had all come now. Loki also made it a point now to finish his food, as that had been tiring. And to especially enjoy some pie. "What kind of decoration would you be thinking?"

Puck considered the question. "Mood lighting, mostly. I like how the fireplace casts, and that's fine for reading and ambience, but.. I want it to feel calmer. Like you're leaving everything else outside when you come in. The antithesis to an office, where you'd go to work." Puck looked around the room.

"Kind of like taking the reading corner and stretching it."

Hmmm. Loki could work with that, and thought he had an idea or two. Motioning that Puck should stay seated, Loki stood and moved to where he had a good view of the interior of the small house. Taking in the layout and potential obstacles, before moving to one of the walls and putting his hand on it. A shimmer of green swept over everything, and now besides the fireplace, there were candles on the tables and walls burning brightly. Plush rugs and tapestries as well, and the reading corner had indeed been 'stretched' in a way. Mostly in that it's design was mimicked in other furniture where Loki could. Aiming for Cozy, and comfortable. It was a very complete illusion, as he took his hand from the wall and smiled. Turning to see Puck's reaction.

Puck blinked in plain confusion for a moment before Loki cast his magic. It was cozy but also open and inviting, the rugs and tapestries working together with how Puck had already decorated. The decorating equivalent of a door being held open and being welcomed in. He laughed softly at first and then loudly as he stood and stepped into the illusion properly, eyes widening as his feet sank into one of the rugs. Puck's own illusions could be just as lifelike, but it felt different- nice to not be the one casting it.

He smiled at Loki, plain joy on his face. "It's wonderful!"

"Oh good." Relieved that he'd gotten it right more than anything. Loki knew he'd be able to cast an illusion quality enough and large enough. It wasn't even that complex compared to some that he'd done. But it was a way he could show that he cared, and valued the other, and valued their time together. Valued being together. "I can find a way to set it for at least a day, if you'd like."

Puck nodded, moving to take Loki's hands. "A day sounds very nice." It really didn't seem that complex but Puck appreciated the messages being sent with it. "Thank you, Loki, that's very kind of you." He laughed again a little, still enjoying all of it. The illusion, spending time together, and having the security in his feelings.

Puck pulled him into a hug. "I'll repay you ten times over, you realize?"

That hug was returned and it was Loki's turn to kiss Puck's hair. "Be you. That's all I need in payment." His friend, and partner, and definitely something else too. Loki was content to hold that embrace too for several minutes. Sweets could wait, as this was feeding a different kind of hunger.

"I'll do that, then." Puck said with a nod. Easily, and happily. As he was held, Puck smiled and got comfortable. The illusion was certainly helping. The pie was forgotten for the time being-- but it was as sweet, if not better.

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