Puck nodded and listened, eyes flickering with something as the masks slipped back on.
His eyes widened for a moment as he pictured everything-- being isolated but finding what could have looked like the quickest way to survive, only to be met with another tyrant. Puck exhaled and tightened his grip on Loki in a mix of sympathy and a sting of anger on his behalf. Going through any one of the situations he'd described would have been a test of.. Well, everything. But to hear Loki, it had been a steady line of trials. Ones he didn't ask for, and to be frank that Puck didn't agree with. A mad ruler who's moods could change as easily as the seasons, and who never reached the apex of having enough, turning to simply finding more to satisfy? The parallels between the one calling himself the Grandmaster and Oberon weren't just quietly there, they were in bright neon paint, waving their hands and jumping up and down.
Puck inhaled. He and Loki were really similar in a lot of ways. If it weren't so sad, he would have chuckled.
Puck found his voice again and spoke. "That all sounds horrible. I'm glad you didn't go mad from any of it. Did Thor help you escape this grandmaster character?"
"Thor has a way of messing things up without even trying." Loki's tone was dry, but he was glad Puck remained close. "It was...difficult. He was not content with the slow or longer way that would guarantee success. Eventually he escaped, along with the last of the Valkyrie, and one of his allies who had ended up on Sakaar from Midgard. They headed for Asgard, to face Hela and try to stop her." Telling that Loki didn't mention going with them, but he wasn't going into that just yet.
"I followed him, in a larger ship, along with those of the gladiators who rebelled and left. We arrived in the middle of battle to save what refugees Heimdall had managed to find and help of our people. I joined the battle while our people headed for safety, but it was endless. The Goddess of Death drew her power from Asgard, in addition to slain Einherjar old and new. We provided a stop, but not an end. Thor came up with an idea though, and had me implement it."
A pause, and a light chuckle. "Sakaar may have driven all of us mad, actually. The plan was to fulfill a prophecy or a promise, by one of Asgard's great foes. I placed the crown of Surtur on the everlasting flame and revived him, king and ruler of Muspelheim and he destined to destroy Asgard. We fled, leaving Hela and Surtur to battle and destroy each other. Asgard was no more, and Thor was pondering taking us to Earth as he claimed his spot as King."
Puck gave slight smile. "Ah, I've met ones like that before." He'd also played the part a few times when deliberately acting obtuse around wishes he was obligated to grant, but this didn't sound like some well timed acting on Thor's part. He continued to listen, picking up that Loki didn't mention traveling along.
When he mentioned a ship and gladiators, Puck nodded in understanding. "Maybe you all realized what needed to happen. If Hela drew power from Asgard then.." Then the decision to simply take Asgard out of the equation made sense. But he doubted it had been easy for any of them. "That doesn't sound like madness. If anything, it's grim. Sometimes you have to make a grim decision to cut off a threat before it can grow worse."
He wouldn't think he could just comfort everything out of Loki-- he was a lot but not that naive. Emotional and physical presence could help, and did seem to be working, but Puck knew that this was a long term situation. Luckily being a fae he had the stamina to match. He would continue supporting Loki until he either wore himself out, or until it was finished.
"Is that when you came here?" Puck asked, tilting his head slightly.
Loki was quiet, having drawn in a breath as he should've expected that question. He did at least let it out slowly, and... Chose to leave part of the mask down. "No. We were intercepted before we reached Earth. The Mad Titan, who had enabled my earlier invasion of it five years earlier, came calling. He was hunting for the infinity stones, and one had been on Asgard. It...should have stayed and been destroyed in Asgard, but I'd taken it." Now Loki did pull back, closing himself off in preparation for a blow of some kind.
"He killed half our remaining people, Heimdall included. He would've killed Thor if I hadn't given up the stone. We fought. I also...tried to kill him. To seemingly betray my people and my brother to join his service." A pause, and now blue-green eyes dropped. "I failed. I was going unconscious, with his hand around my throat, when I next woke up here. I have vague memories of an owl, but that's all."
Puck blinked in confusion as Loki pulled back suddenly. Puck was no stranger to the idea of just taking something-- humans provided endless examples of doing that in their lifetimes. Puck also played with words around the concept itself.
As Loki explained everything that had happened after, Puck's breath came out in a shaky exhale. "You.." He'd tried. He really had tried to go against what sounded like an enormous threat, even with the risk of destroying his relationships. When Loki described dying, Puck cleared his throat and then began to first cry-- slow tears, before it turned into steady weeping. He took a few breaths to steady himself, which did help, but didn't stop the tears in the slightest.
Fae had higher empathy by default, but this also just came with Puck's personality. Hearing that a loved one had gone through so much and tried one final time to right things had proven too much. Puck found his wits after a moment and looked to Loki steadily before opening his arms and leaving the decision of whatever Loki needed in Loki's hands.
Loki hadn't been 'taking' any of this. At least, he'd been trying to not just take but to give as well. It was why he'd come originally, and insisted that Puck get comfort before dinner. He hadn't planned for any of this to go this way. There was confusion in blue-green eyes as the fae cried, his mouth twisted too and head tilted. Loki had expected rejection, blame and a blow of some kind to come his way.
After all, while destroying Asgard was not his 'fault' in many ways, the subsequent slaughter by Thanos was. That was even supposing an infinity stone could be destroyed. Even his own 'death' was a way to make amends, wasn't it? Or had that been just as futile ultimately. Gamora hadn't thought so, but neither of them had survived the Mad Titan's quest.
Then Puck was clearly indicating that no blow would come. Comfort was actually being offered, and Loki was only all the more confused. "...why? I...don't understand why you're not angry with me, or..." He didn't know. Loki just expected some kind of censure instead of this. The swirl of mixed and chaotic emotions and uncertainty were all over his posture and in his eyes.
Fae ran on a different set of rules in a lot of ways, but Puck was also just.. not a human. He didn't have a fully human viewpoint of most things. He didn't apply his own morality to everything he came across, or act like it was his place to judge except in a few specific circumstances. Circumstances that Loki hadn't met and probably never would just by the fact that they were from different worlds.
"Or.. what? Yelling at you? Demanding why you did or didn't do something?" Puck found his voice easily and asked around a surprised half laugh. "It's empathy, Loki!" Puck shook his head as he just went ahead and said what was needed. It was empathy, yes. Puck reached up to wipe his eyes.
"It's empathy, and it's love. It's because that I love you. You need to hear that."
Well now Loki really was confused and a mix of emotions. Chaotic and overwhelming, and he didn't even seem to realize that his face was showing all of that. Or that he was crying now, one hand coming up to feel the wetness on his cheek. Looking at his hand like he didn't recognize it before turning blue-green eyes to Puck.
He couldn't find words--except that was a lie. He had too many, Loki had so many words he wasn't sure what ones to use or how to say them or even to make them make sense to himself much less to anyone else. He felt adrift, and in a way, also offered an anchor. Did he, could he take that anchor? Would it really be alright to do so?
Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself.
Remembered words and a pained parting, and he shook his head to wipe away the memory and reached for Puck. This time he wouldn't deny the anchor offered. He needed it, clinging to the fae and letting sobs from deep inside wrack him.
It was helping, though this storm was awhile coming and was draining. It needed to happen though, and Loki just clung to Puck. Arms around him tightly, curling and hiding against him and taking the anchor that was offered. It was several moments before the sobs stopped, and then more still before he could speak softly.
"...I turned away the last person who ever truly loved me." Whisper quiet, and slightly hoarse from sobbing. "I didn't want to this time. You keep saying I'm a treasure--I'm not. You are. I've done horrible things, and been wrong my whole life, and when I try to do better I fail at it. But the gift you give me..." All kind of a babble there. "I don't feel worth it." A long and tired sigh, but Loki brought his head up. So Puck could see blue-green eyes that looked very young and lost but desperate too. "But I will protect it and keep it safe. I'll find away to be worth it, Puck. For you."
It did need to happen, and Puck was fine to remain that anchor as Loki went through everything. He continued his soothing movements, to show that he wasn't about to stop offering comfort.
"Then don't, this time." Puck said as quietly. At Loki's comment about not feeling worth it, Puck met Loki's gaze and felt his heart break a bit. Humans, it seemed, weren't the only beings who held onto the idea of needing to be worthy of love. It was a sad fact of things. But Puck would meet Loki where he was.
He leaned forward and pulled Loki into another tight hug. "Thank you. I know you'll do all of that, because you've already shown you can." Another kiss to Loki's head. "We'll protect each other, like we spoke of earlier."
Loki needed that tighter hug, and returned it. Leaning into the kiss too, and staying close as he nodded. Puck believed in him...loved him. That was so very precious to him, and Loki was promising himself he would be worth that and honor it. "We will." Agreeing with the other, before he gave a tired laugh. "I was originally supposed to be here comforting you. I didn't intend to..." Break. To be so vulnerable. "Thank you, though."
"It was quite the dinner, yes." Puck agreed with a laugh of his own. It had been a lot for both of them but Puck felt better that he'd been able to both give and receive comfort as well as tell Loki how he felt. Things felt much clearer, emotionally.
"You're welcome. Would you like to finish dessert, or do anything else? Or do nothing at all?". Puck caught the tiredness in Loki's laugh and didn't want to push, but he also didn't want to assume anything either.
"Oh we are finishing dessert. That sounds like the perfect comfort after all of this that isn't just what we're doing already." It was an emotional and mental tired, more than a true physical tired. A relieved kind of tired, really. "Honestly I'd like to just spend more time with you. Whether we do something or nothing. I've enjoyed your companionship from the start, and that has not changed, only gotten stronger."
Not that Loki'd be moving in together any time soon. He loved living with Alice too much, and did still want his independence. But he was glad and enjoyed when he was in the fae's presence and he wanted to keep that a bit more. Especially now.
Puck laughed and broke the hug, collecting the plates long enough to rewarm everything. He sat the heated plates back down and waited for Loki to sit before he took the seat across from him as before.
"I'll just barely hold off on making a very bad joke about the sweetness of all of this. But yes, we should spend more time together in general-- there's never anything wrong with good company, and you've demonstrated a great skill at it."
Puck likewise wouldn't suggest living together. He loved his friends and his loved ones, but also liked his privacy. He lived separate from Xanatos in Manhattan, and he didn't see that changing while he was in Somnius. But Puck would absolutely make time and space for Loki, either when asked or when Puck had the idea himself.
"I'll have to make sure to keep up." Puck gave a playful wink. "But I trust myself to do that."
"I do have quite a bit more of a sweet tooth than you." Loki remembered their experimenting with overly sugared punch at Webby's party. "You do keep up already, but I have had good several centuries more experience at it." The wink made him smile, genuine and fond.
"We can share stories, or read, or just do nothing. All sound like good ideas to me, as does just talking with you. Though I'll try to avoid bringing up anything else that might be disturbing."
"You do, yes." Puck remembered the punch and returned Loki's smile with an equally genuine one.
"Even if you did, I'd be all right with it." Puck assured him simply. Puck understood that it wasn't always going to be lighthearted banter, and was fine with that fact.
"I'll recall some stories, then." he said after some of the pie. "Or maybe I'll look for some more things to decorate with so it's more comfortable. Or both! I've done worse for places."
Loki wouldn't have been alright though. His world had just shifted quite a bit and he needed some time to adapt and process. Not processing had been part of why it had all come now. Loki also made it a point now to finish his food, as that had been tiring. And to especially enjoy some pie. "What kind of decoration would you be thinking?"
Puck considered the question. "Mood lighting, mostly. I like how the fireplace casts, and that's fine for reading and ambience, but.. I want it to feel calmer. Like you're leaving everything else outside when you come in. The antithesis to an office, where you'd go to work." Puck looked around the room.
"Kind of like taking the reading corner and stretching it."
Hmmm. Loki could work with that, and thought he had an idea or two. Motioning that Puck should stay seated, Loki stood and moved to where he had a good view of the interior of the small house. Taking in the layout and potential obstacles, before moving to one of the walls and putting his hand on it. A shimmer of green swept over everything, and now besides the fireplace, there were candles on the tables and walls burning brightly. Plush rugs and tapestries as well, and the reading corner had indeed been 'stretched' in a way. Mostly in that it's design was mimicked in other furniture where Loki could. Aiming for Cozy, and comfortable. It was a very complete illusion, as he took his hand from the wall and smiled. Turning to see Puck's reaction.
Puck blinked in plain confusion for a moment before Loki cast his magic. It was cozy but also open and inviting, the rugs and tapestries working together with how Puck had already decorated. The decorating equivalent of a door being held open and being welcomed in. He laughed softly at first and then loudly as he stood and stepped into the illusion properly, eyes widening as his feet sank into one of the rugs. Puck's own illusions could be just as lifelike, but it felt different- nice to not be the one casting it.
He smiled at Loki, plain joy on his face. "It's wonderful!"
"Oh good." Relieved that he'd gotten it right more than anything. Loki knew he'd be able to cast an illusion quality enough and large enough. It wasn't even that complex compared to some that he'd done. But it was a way he could show that he cared, and valued the other, and valued their time together. Valued being together. "I can find a way to set it for at least a day, if you'd like."
Puck nodded, moving to take Loki's hands. "A day sounds very nice." It really didn't seem that complex but Puck appreciated the messages being sent with it. "Thank you, Loki, that's very kind of you." He laughed again a little, still enjoying all of it. The illusion, spending time together, and having the security in his feelings.
Puck pulled him into a hug. "I'll repay you ten times over, you realize?"
That hug was returned and it was Loki's turn to kiss Puck's hair. "Be you. That's all I need in payment." His friend, and partner, and definitely something else too. Loki was content to hold that embrace too for several minutes. Sweets could wait, as this was feeding a different kind of hunger.
"I'll do that, then." Puck said with a nod. Easily, and happily. As he was held, Puck smiled and got comfortable. The illusion was certainly helping. The pie was forgotten for the time being-- but it was as sweet, if not better.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2024-02-05 01:24 am (UTC)His eyes widened for a moment as he pictured everything-- being isolated but finding what could have looked like the quickest way to survive, only to be met with another tyrant. Puck exhaled and tightened his grip on Loki in a mix of sympathy and a sting of anger on his behalf. Going through any one of the situations he'd described would have been a test of.. Well, everything. But to hear Loki, it had been a steady line of trials. Ones he didn't ask for, and to be frank that Puck didn't agree with. A mad ruler who's moods could change as easily as the seasons, and who never reached the apex of having enough, turning to simply finding more to satisfy? The parallels between the one calling himself the Grandmaster and Oberon weren't just quietly there, they were in bright neon paint, waving their hands and jumping up and down.
Puck inhaled. He and Loki were really similar in a lot of ways. If it weren't so sad, he would have chuckled.
Puck found his voice again and spoke. "That all sounds horrible. I'm glad you didn't go mad from any of it. Did Thor help you escape this grandmaster character?"
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 01:32 am (UTC)"I followed him, in a larger ship, along with those of the gladiators who rebelled and left. We arrived in the middle of battle to save what refugees Heimdall had managed to find and help of our people. I joined the battle while our people headed for safety, but it was endless. The Goddess of Death drew her power from Asgard, in addition to slain Einherjar old and new. We provided a stop, but not an end. Thor came up with an idea though, and had me implement it."
A pause, and a light chuckle. "Sakaar may have driven all of us mad, actually. The plan was to fulfill a prophecy or a promise, by one of Asgard's great foes. I placed the crown of Surtur on the everlasting flame and revived him, king and ruler of Muspelheim and he destined to destroy Asgard. We fled, leaving Hela and Surtur to battle and destroy each other. Asgard was no more, and Thor was pondering taking us to Earth as he claimed his spot as King."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 01:55 am (UTC)When he mentioned a ship and gladiators, Puck nodded in understanding. "Maybe you all realized what needed to happen. If Hela drew power from Asgard then.." Then the decision to simply take Asgard out of the equation made sense. But he doubted it had been easy for any of them. "That doesn't sound like madness. If anything, it's grim. Sometimes you have to make a grim decision to cut off a threat before it can grow worse."
He wouldn't think he could just comfort everything out of Loki-- he was a lot but not that naive. Emotional and physical presence could help, and did seem to be working, but Puck knew that this was a long term situation. Luckily being a fae he had the stamina to match. He would continue supporting Loki until he either wore himself out, or until it was finished.
"Is that when you came here?" Puck asked, tilting his head slightly.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 02:00 am (UTC)"He killed half our remaining people, Heimdall included. He would've killed Thor if I hadn't given up the stone. We fought. I also...tried to kill him. To seemingly betray my people and my brother to join his service." A pause, and now blue-green eyes dropped. "I failed. I was going unconscious, with his hand around my throat, when I next woke up here. I have vague memories of an owl, but that's all."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 02:45 am (UTC)As Loki explained everything that had happened after, Puck's breath came out in a shaky exhale. "You.." He'd tried. He really had tried to go against what sounded like an enormous threat, even with the risk of destroying his relationships. When Loki described dying, Puck cleared his throat and then began to first cry-- slow tears, before it turned into steady weeping. He took a few breaths to steady himself, which did help, but didn't stop the tears in the slightest.
Fae had higher empathy by default, but this also just came with Puck's personality. Hearing that a loved one had gone through so much and tried one final time to right things had proven too much. Puck found his wits after a moment and looked to Loki steadily before opening his arms and leaving the decision of whatever Loki needed in Loki's hands.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 02:52 am (UTC)After all, while destroying Asgard was not his 'fault' in many ways, the subsequent slaughter by Thanos was. That was even supposing an infinity stone could be destroyed. Even his own 'death' was a way to make amends, wasn't it? Or had that been just as futile ultimately. Gamora hadn't thought so, but neither of them had survived the Mad Titan's quest.
Then Puck was clearly indicating that no blow would come. Comfort was actually being offered, and Loki was only all the more confused. "...why? I...don't understand why you're not angry with me, or..." He didn't know. Loki just expected some kind of censure instead of this. The swirl of mixed and chaotic emotions and uncertainty were all over his posture and in his eyes.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 04:03 am (UTC)"Or.. what? Yelling at you? Demanding why you did or didn't do something?" Puck found his voice easily and asked around a surprised half laugh. "It's empathy, Loki!" Puck shook his head as he just went ahead and said what was needed. It was empathy, yes. Puck reached up to wipe his eyes.
"It's empathy, and it's love. It's because that I love you. You need to hear that."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 04:09 am (UTC)He couldn't find words--except that was a lie. He had too many, Loki had so many words he wasn't sure what ones to use or how to say them or even to make them make sense to himself much less to anyone else. He felt adrift, and in a way, also offered an anchor. Did he, could he take that anchor? Would it really be alright to do so?
Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself.
Remembered words and a pained parting, and he shook his head to wipe away the memory and reached for Puck. This time he wouldn't deny the anchor offered. He needed it, clinging to the fae and letting sobs from deep inside wrack him.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 05:32 am (UTC)As Loki clung to him and sobbed, Puck held him tightly. His hands resumed rubbing small circles and he said gently into Loki's hair,
"Your Puck is right here."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 05:37 am (UTC)"...I turned away the last person who ever truly loved me." Whisper quiet, and slightly hoarse from sobbing. "I didn't want to this time. You keep saying I'm a treasure--I'm not. You are. I've done horrible things, and been wrong my whole life, and when I try to do better I fail at it. But the gift you give me..." All kind of a babble there. "I don't feel worth it." A long and tired sigh, but Loki brought his head up. So Puck could see blue-green eyes that looked very young and lost but desperate too. "But I will protect it and keep it safe. I'll find away to be worth it, Puck. For you."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 06:55 am (UTC)"Then don't, this time." Puck said as quietly. At Loki's comment about not feeling worth it, Puck met Loki's gaze and felt his heart break a bit. Humans, it seemed, weren't the only beings who held onto the idea of needing to be worthy of love. It was a sad fact of things. But Puck would meet Loki where he was.
He leaned forward and pulled Loki into another tight hug. "Thank you. I know you'll do all of that, because you've already shown you can." Another kiss to Loki's head. "We'll protect each other, like we spoke of earlier."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 11:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 12:08 am (UTC)"You're welcome. Would you like to finish dessert, or do anything else? Or do nothing at all?". Puck caught the tiredness in Loki's laugh and didn't want to push, but he also didn't want to assume anything either.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 12:12 am (UTC)Not that Loki'd be moving in together any time soon. He loved living with Alice too much, and did still want his independence. But he was glad and enjoyed when he was in the fae's presence and he wanted to keep that a bit more. Especially now.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 12:36 am (UTC)"I'll just barely hold off on making a very bad joke about the sweetness of all of this. But yes, we should spend more time together in general-- there's never anything wrong with good company, and you've demonstrated a great skill at it."
Puck likewise wouldn't suggest living together. He loved his friends and his loved ones, but also liked his privacy. He lived separate from Xanatos in Manhattan, and he didn't see that changing while he was in Somnius. But Puck would absolutely make time and space for Loki, either when asked or when Puck had the idea himself.
"I'll have to make sure to keep up." Puck gave a playful wink. "But I trust myself to do that."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 12:40 am (UTC)"We can share stories, or read, or just do nothing. All sound like good ideas to me, as does just talking with you. Though I'll try to avoid bringing up anything else that might be disturbing."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 12:53 am (UTC)"Even if you did, I'd be all right with it." Puck assured him simply. Puck understood that it wasn't always going to be lighthearted banter, and was fine with that fact.
"I'll recall some stories, then." he said after some of the pie. "Or maybe I'll look for some more things to decorate with so it's more comfortable. Or both! I've done worse for places."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 01:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 01:25 am (UTC)"Kind of like taking the reading corner and stretching it."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 01:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 01:45 am (UTC)He smiled at Loki, plain joy on his face. "It's wonderful!"
no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 01:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 02:06 am (UTC)Puck pulled him into a hug. "I'll repay you ten times over, you realize?"
no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 02:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 02:40 am (UTC)