"Sometimes a good joke is called for, or at least a sense of 'fun'. If it's not fun, why do it?" Loki said, as he took his own seat and moved to pour for them both. "I have been reminded that I do have actual friends, and family, here. I am grateful for that, and your letter is well-hidden and will be kept safe as a reminder of part of that." Acknowledging that he was doing better, and she had been part of that.
"I would like this to be a social call, although we can briefly talk about your studies."
"That's true- some fun does help as much as being serious." Eilonwy brightened a bit at hearing she had helped. "You do, yes-- sometimes remembering that can certainly pull you through hardships." It had helped during her adventures with everyone in Prydain.
"Oh, of course! Would you like to talk about them first or later?"
"First, so it's out of the way." Loki said decisively, then brought his cup up. Pondering how to approach it. "You have the basics of grounding, centering, and shielding concepts and decent practice. I think more practice, but also with a new step, is in order." It was a good start.
Loki took a drink from the tea before continuing. "I do have some affinity for mental magic, though it's nothing like when I had the scepter during the invasion." A brief allusion to the damning profile. "I can somewhat influence someone's thoughts to go the way I prefer, and I can also make someone relive their memories. What I propose next mostly involves the former skill. So that we can build up both your shields and your resistance to others trying to modify your thoughts."
Eilonwy nodded as she picked up her own cup of tea and had a drink. It was pleasant, and not too sweet.
"That does sound like the next logical step in things." Eilonwy's diplomacy kicked in and she breezed past the mention of the profile, but not to the information around it. Some more tea was had before she spoke. "I look forward to learning, and it sounds like a fine challenge. I like my thoughts as they are, so it would be best to know how to keep them that way." Eilonwy didn't want to go through everything attached to the masquerade again if she could help it. Having another weapon in the form of strengthened magic was just a smart move. She smiled.
"I am honored that you still trust me, considering what has recently come out. It was at least 5 years ago, if not a bit more. I am a different person, and I... Being a villain was not satisfying nor worth it. It caused a lot of harm. I've no intention of trying that again." It was important she know, even if Loki really didn't want to answer all the questions right then.
"I would start obviously with suggestions for you, and then we'd get subtler the stronger your own defenses became."
"You're not the first I've met who's changed, and you won't be the last by the nature of growth itself. But I'm likewise honored you've told me. Thank you." Eilonwy smiled warmly and then helped herself to some of the snacks, eating idly as she listened.
"Then for the first time, I should expect something.. perhaps not obvious, but not subtle, either." She nodded. "Like any other training session, but with less sword work." a bit of a joke, which she laughed at.
"I mean, we could spar while doing so. It would make things more interesting and certainly keep you sharp." Loki said with an eyebrow raised, and mischief in blue-green eyes. Smiling around the rim of his tea cup.
"But yes, I'd start with unsubtle suggestions. Like 'I think I'll stand up' to stretch my legs." Which was about all the warning she'd get, before there was the very strong and not at all subtle suggestion that she do just that. The thought twisting and weaving against her shields and mind and obvious. Something in his voice, and the faint feeling of a shimmery evanescence against her thoughts.
Eilonwy missed the mischief at first and was considering how that would work out before it clicked that Loki had been joking. She shook her head. "Not to start, but maybe in the future!"
It was a fair warning-- one that fully matched a starting point for a sudden exercise. As the suggestion carried in his voice headed towards her, Eilonwy physically braced. Her shoulders pulled back, tense suddenly, as she went into the training they'd been doing. She pictured a series of shields lifting as if they were being held by an Order of Chivalry, each knight pressing against the magic.
A good effort, for a beginner, but Loki had the upper hand even if he was being kind by making it as obvious as Bauble's flashing red for danger. As the suggestion pushed past a weaker section, Eilonwy felt herself standing. She exhaled and looked to the ground with an irritated huff. "..Close." she said after a moment to collect herself.
She sat back down and rubbed at her head with a wince. "That was a very strong first lesson!"
Edited (fixing tense first few lines!) Date: 2024-03-22 04:25 pm (UTC)
Loki was watching her carefully, expression neutral and somewhat closed off. She'd done very well so far in fighting back, as he had an inkling of her struggle. It had been unexpected, and with very little warning--but had been what they were training for.
"...you're neither angry with me, nor distrusting of me, still?" As much as he was feeling more stable after the Sleepr incident, Loki needed to ask. Wanted to ask, and trusted Eilonwy to be honest with him.
Eilonwy had some of her tea and shook her head. "No? You promised to teach me, I don't expect learning something more advanced to be easy." She smiled. "Even if you're kinder than what I expect Vaeros will be if he ever tries that sort of thing again." Another snack was had.
"Being angry and distrusting of you for using your skills would defeat the entire purpose of learning and I can't just stay where I'm at and hope that Vaeros or anyone else decides to show kindness in case they feel like changing someone's thoughts. I'd only be angry if you didn't trust me to handle the lessons, and if you kept giving me gentle ones instead of moving forward."
It was an honest answer, Eilonwy knew that learning anything came with challenges but she trusted Loki to provide those. Likewise if Loki needed to hear it in so many words, Eilonwy had just shown she was fine to say as much.
"If I didn't trust you, I wouldn't have accepted your oath, Loki. I don't play lightly with them, even here."
"...I wish I'd had a friend like you growing up Eilonwy. It might've saved me from some mistakes." Honestly he wished he'd had a friend of his own, period. But especially one like Eilonwy. A nod of thanks to her as well.
"I'm quite certain Vaeros would be both subtler and use more direct magic. I admit, with time I've come to wonder also if it is not that he was using multiple spells at the feast and ball not because he is weak, but perhaps as a fail-safe and/or to make us more pliable by using many routes to get to us. Should one method fail, there had been another. If multiple angles of enchantment also happened to make us weaker to overall to the attempt, that would also serve his purpose."
Bringing a snack up himself, Loki looked at it for a moment. "Damn that I didn't have my magic then." The bite of snack might be a bit vicious, given the statement.
Eilonwy smiled at the sentiment and then had some more tea as she listened as Loki explained things.
"It's a smart strategy, if not a bit heavy handed. You have to make very educated guesses at how your attacks can work and assume a lot about your targets, especially if--" She paused mid sentence, eyes narrowing as Eilonwy realized something.
"Especially if that was your first time fighting them. If the masquerade was nothing more than a glorified training session, then.. Then Vaeros could have more planned, with better strategies for the future." Eilonwy sighed.
"No, you shouldn't blame yourself like that. You did help after everything. We all did what we could, and there's no shame in that." But it was still a bit scary to think about. Eilonwy resolved to learn as much as she could in the meantime.
"Heavy handed does not surprise me, given all we know about him." Loki murmured, letting this all turn over in his mind. "It is not unlikely, that of it being a training session and trial run so to speak. But it's also not certain. And we shouldn't assume it is the obvious when there are other possibilities too. We do not know that Vaeros views us as adversaries to be fought and conquered."
Oh, that raised an interesting point. "It brings to mind something one of my co-conspirator's mentioned too. And something I've pondered." Especially since if Loki was right, he saw a parallel between himself and Vaeros and didn't like it.
"He wants us to love him. He could easily make us be his subjects, considering how easily he brings us here and strips our abilities. It would be an artificial love, an imposed one--not 'real' as it were." And if you spend long enough in that kind of illusion, you lose sight of what's real eventually. "But if he has been deeply hurt and wounded before... If he's trying to not be hurt like that again, but also wants to be loved for who he is...this all starts to make sense. He's trying to beguile and woo us, but also not above trying to alter and use illusion to make that all come to be real entirely."
It made sense to Loki, and he wasn't sure he was explaining it well, but it all made SENSE.
Eilonwy absorbed everything and nodded at the mention of not assuming Vaeros saw them as enemies. At the mention of love, she looked off to the side in thought.
"Wooing by showing off magic, and instead of showing one's entire heart, especially if you've been hurt before, you keep it hidden. You hurt others by writing cruel things about them or by removing their abilities.." Eilonwy trailed off as she looked back to Loki.
"It's.. That idea isn't uncommon, but I've never heard of a ruler working that way. You don't gain the trust of your subjects by being mercurial." It clicked, and Eilonwy rubbed between her eyes with a sigh.
"But you would do that if you were a fairy. Because that's how they operate. All we can do is prepare, then." It did make sense, but from Eilonwy's tactical viewpoint, it was just badly planned. Loki's mention of it being 'real', stuck out.
"...The townspeople. Their love for him isn't real. What if everyone here is part of the second test?"
"We're still assuming Vaeros is a fae, and not all rulers who are volatile or mercurial must also be fae." Loki pointed out, not mentioning that he himself was often known for volatile emotions. Actually, aside from grandiose egoism while pretending to be Odin, he'd been a not too terrible ruler by some metrics.
"It may not be, or it could be by this point if it's been in place long enough. We also don't know how recent Vaeros' reign started. If it was a generation ago, then it could be starting to become natural and real, by the townsfolk, as it'd be all some of them have known."
"That's true.." Eilonwy agreed with a sigh. It was hard to let go of the idea that Vaeros was at least some kind of fae, but Eilonwy also understood that by not doing that she was limiting herself. Like ignoring a map in favor of your own sense of direction, but never actually moving.
She had some more of her tea and considered that last statement. "Another good point.. If I were somewhere for a generation and suddenly had others questioning what I knew as reality, I can't say I'd be happy about it." But the entire thing still didn't sit right with her. Eilonwy put her cup down and studied it for a moment in thought.
"I'll sort my thoughts about that later. For now, other things."
"It is always good to discuss this with you. You're one of the few who even knows my actual notebook exists." Loki said with a faint smile. "Thank you, for your support. I am...pleasantly surprised, and no little honored, that people are continuing to be my friend. To trust me."
A bit sad and wistful there, but it was true all the same.
"The accusations and deeds in the profile were true, but without full context. I have tried to kill Thor, my adopted brother, repeatedly. I have also invaded Midgard with intent to conquer, when I was young and angry and hurt. I was also manipulated, though I still made the choices to do so. I did indeed spend a year in prison which did little to reform me in some ways. In others...it changed things completely."
Eilonwy smiled back. "You're welcome, but you don't need to thank me." Another snack was considered but Eilonwy held off for the time being.
"Most rumors are like that, I've found. Insults can sometimes be very sharp words meant to strike where people are the most vulnerable." she thought back to the fight with Taran and how quickly it'd escalated. Eilonwy offered one of her hands towards Loki and spoke with a soft authoritative tone.
"I'm a princess, not a member of the court. I won't judge you on the past, because I wasn't there for it and didn't know you then. That would be insensitive to the you I do know. People change, and you've given me no reason to think you anything but what you've shown me." her tone shifted to sounding more like herself than a princess using her own understanding, "Even if those statements are true, that's not all that you are. You're showing that right now."
"The last decade, or just under really, have been very...chaotic for me in many ways. It was change or die, in some ways. Adapt or die really, though I've been trying to adapt in good ways." Loki said with a soft laugh. "I have been trying to learn to do things differently. Even when I might do something the way I've done it before, the motivation is often different now. I am still me. I will never not be a curious being who likes to look into things others won't, to ferret out secrets, and occasionally cause trouble or poke at things others won't. But that doesn't mean I have to be the villain either."
"Curious people are often called scholars in Prydain." Eilonwy remarked. "They're also well read." With a bit of a call back to the way she'd described him before, Eilonwy hoped to keep showing her emotional support of Loki. Upheaval could be hard for anyone and she couldn't picture what it would be like for any god; but she could imagine it was many times worse.
"You can do all of that and not be a villain. If secrets were never explored or trouble caused, how would one grow except by getting taller?"
"See, most people don't like it when others cause trouble. Even if it's useful. Mischief isn't often appreciated." Loki countered, but he caught the support. It was very much appreciated. "I've...seen for myself too, how it can spiral out of control in ways one never intends. So I understand somewhat why it's not always appreciated."
"There's a time and place for it, I agree. But it's still useful, even in smaller doses." Eilonwy thought back to the end of the adventure in Prydain; the wood troll showing he was alive by digging in Taran's vest pockets for apples and suddenly had a much clearer understanding. No one had been mad at Gurgi for the joke, but it hadn't been the best response to things.
"Even if it's not always as funny as it may seem." she added with a little laugh.
"That can be part of it, yes." Loki said cautiously. Time and place for it, and whether it was funny or not, often seemed to be in the eye of the beholder.
"If you have questions, I shall try and answer them. Give you context, as it were, to what was in the profile."
Eilonwy spoke with gentle but firm assurance. "I don't spend my time thinking on barbs, except on how to disarm them or how to shield either myself or my friends from them. The context is appreciated, but I don't need it. Or want it."
Her shoulders relaxed a bit as she smiled. "Unless you mean questions not related to that, then I can think of at least two that I'd love to ask."
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branchandroot
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Date: 2024-03-13 07:28 pm (UTC)[Eilonwy smiles, follows in and takes her seat.]
Of course! I have a few things I never joke about-- learning or studying under someone is one of those.
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Date: 2024-03-14 07:50 pm (UTC)"I would like this to be a social call, although we can briefly talk about your studies."
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Date: 2024-03-15 12:43 am (UTC)"Oh, of course! Would you like to talk about them first or later?"
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Date: 2024-03-15 03:45 am (UTC)Loki took a drink from the tea before continuing. "I do have some affinity for mental magic, though it's nothing like when I had the scepter during the invasion." A brief allusion to the damning profile. "I can somewhat influence someone's thoughts to go the way I prefer, and I can also make someone relive their memories. What I propose next mostly involves the former skill. So that we can build up both your shields and your resistance to others trying to modify your thoughts."
no subject
Date: 2024-03-15 04:02 am (UTC)"That does sound like the next logical step in things." Eilonwy's diplomacy kicked in and she breezed past the mention of the profile, but not to the information around it. Some more tea was had before she spoke. "I look forward to learning, and it sounds like a fine challenge. I like my thoughts as they are, so it would be best to know how to keep them that way." Eilonwy didn't want to go through everything attached to the masquerade again if she could help it. Having another weapon in the form of strengthened magic was just a smart move. She smiled.
"I'm excited to learn. Thank you again."
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Date: 2024-03-15 04:06 am (UTC)"I would start obviously with suggestions for you, and then we'd get subtler the stronger your own defenses became."
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Date: 2024-03-16 03:32 pm (UTC)"Then for the first time, I should expect something.. perhaps not obvious, but not subtle, either." She nodded. "Like any other training session, but with less sword work." a bit of a joke, which she laughed at.
I like that I got to use 'evancescence' properly in a sentence here. :)
Date: 2024-03-22 01:46 am (UTC)"But yes, I'd start with unsubtle suggestions. Like 'I think I'll stand up' to stretch my legs." Which was about all the warning she'd get, before there was the very strong and not at all subtle suggestion that she do just that. The thought twisting and weaving against her shields and mind and obvious. Something in his voice, and the faint feeling of a shimmery evanescence against her thoughts.
yay!
Date: 2024-03-22 04:11 pm (UTC)It was a fair warning-- one that fully matched a starting point for a sudden exercise. As the suggestion carried in his voice headed towards her, Eilonwy physically braced. Her shoulders pulled back, tense suddenly, as she went into the training they'd been doing. She pictured a series of shields lifting as if they were being held by an Order of Chivalry, each knight pressing against the magic.
A good effort, for a beginner, but Loki had the upper hand even if he was being kind by making it as obvious as Bauble's flashing red for danger. As the suggestion pushed past a weaker section, Eilonwy felt herself standing. She exhaled and looked to the ground with an irritated huff. "..Close." she said after a moment to collect herself.
She sat back down and rubbed at her head with a wince. "That was a very strong first lesson!"
no subject
Date: 2024-03-23 03:34 am (UTC)"...you're neither angry with me, nor distrusting of me, still?" As much as he was feeling more stable after the Sleepr incident, Loki needed to ask. Wanted to ask, and trusted Eilonwy to be honest with him.
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Date: 2024-03-23 12:40 pm (UTC)"Being angry and distrusting of you for using your skills would defeat the entire purpose of learning and I can't just stay where I'm at and hope that Vaeros or anyone else decides to show kindness in case they feel like changing someone's thoughts. I'd only be angry if you didn't trust me to handle the lessons, and if you kept giving me gentle ones instead of moving forward."
It was an honest answer, Eilonwy knew that learning anything came with challenges but she trusted Loki to provide those. Likewise if Loki needed to hear it in so many words, Eilonwy had just shown she was fine to say as much.
"If I didn't trust you, I wouldn't have accepted your oath, Loki. I don't play lightly with them, even here."
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Date: 2024-03-23 01:15 pm (UTC)"I'm quite certain Vaeros would be both subtler and use more direct magic. I admit, with time I've come to wonder also if it is not that he was using multiple spells at the feast and ball not because he is weak, but perhaps as a fail-safe and/or to make us more pliable by using many routes to get to us. Should one method fail, there had been another. If multiple angles of enchantment also happened to make us weaker to overall to the attempt, that would also serve his purpose."
Bringing a snack up himself, Loki looked at it for a moment. "Damn that I didn't have my magic then." The bite of snack might be a bit vicious, given the statement.
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Date: 2024-03-23 02:16 pm (UTC)"It's a smart strategy, if not a bit heavy handed. You have to make very educated guesses at how your attacks can work and assume a lot about your targets, especially if--" She paused mid sentence, eyes narrowing as Eilonwy realized something.
"Especially if that was your first time fighting them. If the masquerade was nothing more than a glorified training session, then.. Then Vaeros could have more planned, with better strategies for the future." Eilonwy sighed.
"No, you shouldn't blame yourself like that. You did help after everything. We all did what we could, and there's no shame in that." But it was still a bit scary to think about. Eilonwy resolved to learn as much as she could in the meantime.
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Date: 2024-03-23 02:28 pm (UTC)Oh, that raised an interesting point. "It brings to mind something one of my co-conspirator's mentioned too. And something I've pondered." Especially since if Loki was right, he saw a parallel between himself and Vaeros and didn't like it.
"He wants us to love him. He could easily make us be his subjects, considering how easily he brings us here and strips our abilities. It would be an artificial love, an imposed one--not 'real' as it were." And if you spend long enough in that kind of illusion, you lose sight of what's real eventually. "But if he has been deeply hurt and wounded before... If he's trying to not be hurt like that again, but also wants to be loved for who he is...this all starts to make sense. He's trying to beguile and woo us, but also not above trying to alter and use illusion to make that all come to be real entirely."
It made sense to Loki, and he wasn't sure he was explaining it well, but it all made SENSE.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-23 02:52 pm (UTC)"Wooing by showing off magic, and instead of showing one's entire heart, especially if you've been hurt before, you keep it hidden. You hurt others by writing cruel things about them or by removing their abilities.." Eilonwy trailed off as she looked back to Loki.
"It's.. That idea isn't uncommon, but I've never heard of a ruler working that way. You don't gain the trust of your subjects by being mercurial." It clicked, and Eilonwy rubbed between her eyes with a sigh.
"But you would do that if you were a fairy. Because that's how they operate. All we can do is prepare, then." It did make sense, but from Eilonwy's tactical viewpoint, it was just badly planned. Loki's mention of it being 'real', stuck out.
"...The townspeople. Their love for him isn't real. What if everyone here is part of the second test?"
no subject
Date: 2024-03-24 11:33 pm (UTC)"It may not be, or it could be by this point if it's been in place long enough. We also don't know how recent Vaeros' reign started. If it was a generation ago, then it could be starting to become natural and real, by the townsfolk, as it'd be all some of them have known."
no subject
Date: 2024-03-25 12:08 am (UTC)She had some more of her tea and considered that last statement. "Another good point.. If I were somewhere for a generation and suddenly had others questioning what I knew as reality, I can't say I'd be happy about it." But the entire thing still didn't sit right with her. Eilonwy put her cup down and studied it for a moment in thought.
"I'll sort my thoughts about that later. For now, other things."
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Date: 2024-03-26 10:42 pm (UTC)A bit sad and wistful there, but it was true all the same.
"The accusations and deeds in the profile were true, but without full context. I have tried to kill Thor, my adopted brother, repeatedly. I have also invaded Midgard with intent to conquer, when I was young and angry and hurt. I was also manipulated, though I still made the choices to do so. I did indeed spend a year in prison which did little to reform me in some ways. In others...it changed things completely."
no subject
Date: 2024-03-26 11:13 pm (UTC)"Most rumors are like that, I've found. Insults can sometimes be very sharp words meant to strike where people are the most vulnerable." she thought back to the fight with Taran and how quickly it'd escalated. Eilonwy offered one of her hands towards Loki and spoke with a soft authoritative tone.
"I'm a princess, not a member of the court. I won't judge you on the past, because I wasn't there for it and didn't know you then. That would be insensitive to the you I do know. People change, and you've given me no reason to think you anything but what you've shown me." her tone shifted to sounding more like herself than a princess using her own understanding, "Even if those statements are true, that's not all that you are. You're showing that right now."
no subject
Date: 2024-03-27 03:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-27 12:57 pm (UTC)"You can do all of that and not be a villain. If secrets were never explored or trouble caused, how would one grow except by getting taller?"
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Date: 2024-03-27 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-27 10:33 pm (UTC)"Even if it's not always as funny as it may seem." she added with a little laugh.
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Date: 2024-03-29 01:52 am (UTC)"If you have questions, I shall try and answer them. Give you context, as it were, to what was in the profile."
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Date: 2024-03-29 02:19 am (UTC)Her shoulders relaxed a bit as she smiled. "Unless you mean questions not related to that, then I can think of at least two that I'd love to ask."
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