Puck just held on and let himself be held. His partner needed support, Puck would be that. He realized that Loki felt safe enough to share that and his heart warmed as much as it threatened to break.
He tightened his grip on Loki. Puck wasn't sure what to say to the first two statements, but he opted for, "You're yourself, first. A treasure, who should have been treated better." Puck knew that Loki needed to hear confirmation and so he helped Loki help himself.
"How good that he said he was proud of his sons before leaving. How good that it was that you heard that!" Puck moved until he could position himself to give Loki a kiss. "You heard correctly-- you heard he was proud of both of you. That you were his son, as much as anything else." Puck's eyes shone with assurance and a mix of love and hurt.
It hadn't been an entirely conscious thing on Loki's part, to suddenly have the dam break. Which was itself a sign that he felt 'safe' around Puck enough. He listened, and moved to try and gain control of himself again. Breathing, old exercises he'd learned long ago to keep calm as he learned magic. He wanted to believe Puck, and well--Puck only know because of what Loki had said. So he must've heard correctly, right?
Loki had never called himself Laufeyson, as would be his rightful last name. Even when fooling Malekith, he had claimed to be Loki of Jotunheim. It was why he went by Loki of Asgard most often. Because the only time since his life had gone mad, he'd claimed 'Odinson' as his last name, had been to try to clue Thor in. To reassure his brother, that this betrayal wasn't real. It had mattered, and while he'd...failed. He'd failed, but Thor--if that really hadn't been some feverish dream and trick of this world with the bonfires--Thor had seemed to understand. To still claim him as brother.
Could he be Odinson?
It was all too confusing right then, as emotions ran through him in a messy jumble that left him feeling unstable. Too many too quick, and all tinged with pain that he hadn't yet let himself deal with on top of it all. The loss of his home, all the deaths, the failures he'd had...
He nodded though, as blue-green eyes were at least less lost looking. Still full of a myriad of emotions, but Loki was pulling himself together. Leaning forward and resting his forehead against Puck's own. "...Thank you. ...as you may've guessed, I've not had a time or chance to really deal with, well, anything. Normally my control is also much better."
That was the thing about emotional walls. They decided when they came down more often than the people they were attached to. Puck continued to stay where he was, hands moving in small gentle circles. A soothing motion he'd adopted from a human he'd been following on earth named Anastasia Renard. One of the rare things he'd felt like holding onto, considering who she really was.
He rested his forehead against Loki's for a moment and then knelt down with a little half smile as he shapeshifted into Owen. He had to kneel to make sure he was in the same position, and it looked a little odd, but it worked. Puck's lack of his other magic meant that he couldn't simply cast a spell to help Loki continue to calm down, but Puck could turn into his own form of a wall to help protect Loki and the others he cared about.
"You're welcome, and control is fickle." he said softly. "I'm not judging you. If anything I'm very touched that you wanted to tell me." Puck gave him another kiss. "That's a great deal of trust, I'll continue to show you it's not placed foolishly."
Loki blinked, startled by the transformation and the affection and reassurance. But he leaned in all the same and hugged Puck-as-Owen. Recognizing why the other had changed, what he was saying besides the words. Loki didn't really feel he was worthy of it. He'd never felt worthy of so many things though, so why should this be different?
But he held on, and let himself hide a bit while he calmed down. Tried to let himself be a bit vulnerable, in this instance. He was changing, so maybe the patterns of old could change too.
It's a deep breath in, and out, and that tighter hug once more, before moving to take Owen's hands. "Maybe I do need a bodyguard sometimes." It was a weak joke, but Loki was smilingly faintly. He felt more stable, for the moment. "And I should finish telling you, at least."
Puck's grip didn't waver, and he smiled faintly as Loki worked on getting himself together. He returned the second hug, equally as tight but not enough to hurt before Loki took his hands.
Puck thought of a joke in response but smiled and moved to kiss one of Loki's hands. Not quite what a butler or bodyguard would actually do in the situation, but it worked. "I know someone who can provide that well." he joked back before straightening up. There was a shimmer of blue magic as Puck turned back into himself. "Again, only speak on it if you want."
Edited (fixing a word there) Date: 2024-02-04 06:34 pm (UTC)
"You should know, so I will speak." Loki said simply, with a tired smile. Another breath, and the masks were back but less as defense mechanism now and more as focus.
"Our sister, Hela, appeared before us. She demanded we kneel. Claimed Thor looked nothing like Father, but that I sounded like him when I tried to bargain. In any case, a fight ensued. I called for the bifrost to take us to Asgard, which was a mistake as Hela drew her power from there. We all 3 fought while being transported, and I was knocked out of the bifrost mid transport. I ended up on a planet called Sakaar where most of the trash and detritus of the universe ends up. It was a relatively lawless place for the most part save one pocket of civilization ruled over by a being known as the Grandmaster. His moods were more volatile than mine and getting into, and maintaining, his favor was like dancing on a knife's edge over a fire. His taste in entertainment went to gladiatorial games and blood sport and his appetites to excess even for a hedonist. I was there for months before Thor showed up, and it having only been a few seconds for himself.
Puck nodded and listened, eyes flickering with something as the masks slipped back on.
His eyes widened for a moment as he pictured everything-- being isolated but finding what could have looked like the quickest way to survive, only to be met with another tyrant. Puck exhaled and tightened his grip on Loki in a mix of sympathy and a sting of anger on his behalf. Going through any one of the situations he'd described would have been a test of.. Well, everything. But to hear Loki, it had been a steady line of trials. Ones he didn't ask for, and to be frank that Puck didn't agree with. A mad ruler who's moods could change as easily as the seasons, and who never reached the apex of having enough, turning to simply finding more to satisfy? The parallels between the one calling himself the Grandmaster and Oberon weren't just quietly there, they were in bright neon paint, waving their hands and jumping up and down.
Puck inhaled. He and Loki were really similar in a lot of ways. If it weren't so sad, he would have chuckled.
Puck found his voice again and spoke. "That all sounds horrible. I'm glad you didn't go mad from any of it. Did Thor help you escape this grandmaster character?"
"Thor has a way of messing things up without even trying." Loki's tone was dry, but he was glad Puck remained close. "It was...difficult. He was not content with the slow or longer way that would guarantee success. Eventually he escaped, along with the last of the Valkyrie, and one of his allies who had ended up on Sakaar from Midgard. They headed for Asgard, to face Hela and try to stop her." Telling that Loki didn't mention going with them, but he wasn't going into that just yet.
"I followed him, in a larger ship, along with those of the gladiators who rebelled and left. We arrived in the middle of battle to save what refugees Heimdall had managed to find and help of our people. I joined the battle while our people headed for safety, but it was endless. The Goddess of Death drew her power from Asgard, in addition to slain Einherjar old and new. We provided a stop, but not an end. Thor came up with an idea though, and had me implement it."
A pause, and a light chuckle. "Sakaar may have driven all of us mad, actually. The plan was to fulfill a prophecy or a promise, by one of Asgard's great foes. I placed the crown of Surtur on the everlasting flame and revived him, king and ruler of Muspelheim and he destined to destroy Asgard. We fled, leaving Hela and Surtur to battle and destroy each other. Asgard was no more, and Thor was pondering taking us to Earth as he claimed his spot as King."
Puck gave slight smile. "Ah, I've met ones like that before." He'd also played the part a few times when deliberately acting obtuse around wishes he was obligated to grant, but this didn't sound like some well timed acting on Thor's part. He continued to listen, picking up that Loki didn't mention traveling along.
When he mentioned a ship and gladiators, Puck nodded in understanding. "Maybe you all realized what needed to happen. If Hela drew power from Asgard then.." Then the decision to simply take Asgard out of the equation made sense. But he doubted it had been easy for any of them. "That doesn't sound like madness. If anything, it's grim. Sometimes you have to make a grim decision to cut off a threat before it can grow worse."
He wouldn't think he could just comfort everything out of Loki-- he was a lot but not that naive. Emotional and physical presence could help, and did seem to be working, but Puck knew that this was a long term situation. Luckily being a fae he had the stamina to match. He would continue supporting Loki until he either wore himself out, or until it was finished.
"Is that when you came here?" Puck asked, tilting his head slightly.
Loki was quiet, having drawn in a breath as he should've expected that question. He did at least let it out slowly, and... Chose to leave part of the mask down. "No. We were intercepted before we reached Earth. The Mad Titan, who had enabled my earlier invasion of it five years earlier, came calling. He was hunting for the infinity stones, and one had been on Asgard. It...should have stayed and been destroyed in Asgard, but I'd taken it." Now Loki did pull back, closing himself off in preparation for a blow of some kind.
"He killed half our remaining people, Heimdall included. He would've killed Thor if I hadn't given up the stone. We fought. I also...tried to kill him. To seemingly betray my people and my brother to join his service." A pause, and now blue-green eyes dropped. "I failed. I was going unconscious, with his hand around my throat, when I next woke up here. I have vague memories of an owl, but that's all."
Puck blinked in confusion as Loki pulled back suddenly. Puck was no stranger to the idea of just taking something-- humans provided endless examples of doing that in their lifetimes. Puck also played with words around the concept itself.
As Loki explained everything that had happened after, Puck's breath came out in a shaky exhale. "You.." He'd tried. He really had tried to go against what sounded like an enormous threat, even with the risk of destroying his relationships. When Loki described dying, Puck cleared his throat and then began to first cry-- slow tears, before it turned into steady weeping. He took a few breaths to steady himself, which did help, but didn't stop the tears in the slightest.
Fae had higher empathy by default, but this also just came with Puck's personality. Hearing that a loved one had gone through so much and tried one final time to right things had proven too much. Puck found his wits after a moment and looked to Loki steadily before opening his arms and leaving the decision of whatever Loki needed in Loki's hands.
Loki hadn't been 'taking' any of this. At least, he'd been trying to not just take but to give as well. It was why he'd come originally, and insisted that Puck get comfort before dinner. He hadn't planned for any of this to go this way. There was confusion in blue-green eyes as the fae cried, his mouth twisted too and head tilted. Loki had expected rejection, blame and a blow of some kind to come his way.
After all, while destroying Asgard was not his 'fault' in many ways, the subsequent slaughter by Thanos was. That was even supposing an infinity stone could be destroyed. Even his own 'death' was a way to make amends, wasn't it? Or had that been just as futile ultimately. Gamora hadn't thought so, but neither of them had survived the Mad Titan's quest.
Then Puck was clearly indicating that no blow would come. Comfort was actually being offered, and Loki was only all the more confused. "...why? I...don't understand why you're not angry with me, or..." He didn't know. Loki just expected some kind of censure instead of this. The swirl of mixed and chaotic emotions and uncertainty were all over his posture and in his eyes.
Fae ran on a different set of rules in a lot of ways, but Puck was also just.. not a human. He didn't have a fully human viewpoint of most things. He didn't apply his own morality to everything he came across, or act like it was his place to judge except in a few specific circumstances. Circumstances that Loki hadn't met and probably never would just by the fact that they were from different worlds.
"Or.. what? Yelling at you? Demanding why you did or didn't do something?" Puck found his voice easily and asked around a surprised half laugh. "It's empathy, Loki!" Puck shook his head as he just went ahead and said what was needed. It was empathy, yes. Puck reached up to wipe his eyes.
"It's empathy, and it's love. It's because that I love you. You need to hear that."
Well now Loki really was confused and a mix of emotions. Chaotic and overwhelming, and he didn't even seem to realize that his face was showing all of that. Or that he was crying now, one hand coming up to feel the wetness on his cheek. Looking at his hand like he didn't recognize it before turning blue-green eyes to Puck.
He couldn't find words--except that was a lie. He had too many, Loki had so many words he wasn't sure what ones to use or how to say them or even to make them make sense to himself much less to anyone else. He felt adrift, and in a way, also offered an anchor. Did he, could he take that anchor? Would it really be alright to do so?
Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself.
Remembered words and a pained parting, and he shook his head to wipe away the memory and reached for Puck. This time he wouldn't deny the anchor offered. He needed it, clinging to the fae and letting sobs from deep inside wrack him.
It was helping, though this storm was awhile coming and was draining. It needed to happen though, and Loki just clung to Puck. Arms around him tightly, curling and hiding against him and taking the anchor that was offered. It was several moments before the sobs stopped, and then more still before he could speak softly.
"...I turned away the last person who ever truly loved me." Whisper quiet, and slightly hoarse from sobbing. "I didn't want to this time. You keep saying I'm a treasure--I'm not. You are. I've done horrible things, and been wrong my whole life, and when I try to do better I fail at it. But the gift you give me..." All kind of a babble there. "I don't feel worth it." A long and tired sigh, but Loki brought his head up. So Puck could see blue-green eyes that looked very young and lost but desperate too. "But I will protect it and keep it safe. I'll find away to be worth it, Puck. For you."
It did need to happen, and Puck was fine to remain that anchor as Loki went through everything. He continued his soothing movements, to show that he wasn't about to stop offering comfort.
"Then don't, this time." Puck said as quietly. At Loki's comment about not feeling worth it, Puck met Loki's gaze and felt his heart break a bit. Humans, it seemed, weren't the only beings who held onto the idea of needing to be worthy of love. It was a sad fact of things. But Puck would meet Loki where he was.
He leaned forward and pulled Loki into another tight hug. "Thank you. I know you'll do all of that, because you've already shown you can." Another kiss to Loki's head. "We'll protect each other, like we spoke of earlier."
Loki needed that tighter hug, and returned it. Leaning into the kiss too, and staying close as he nodded. Puck believed in him...loved him. That was so very precious to him, and Loki was promising himself he would be worth that and honor it. "We will." Agreeing with the other, before he gave a tired laugh. "I was originally supposed to be here comforting you. I didn't intend to..." Break. To be so vulnerable. "Thank you, though."
"It was quite the dinner, yes." Puck agreed with a laugh of his own. It had been a lot for both of them but Puck felt better that he'd been able to both give and receive comfort as well as tell Loki how he felt. Things felt much clearer, emotionally.
"You're welcome. Would you like to finish dessert, or do anything else? Or do nothing at all?". Puck caught the tiredness in Loki's laugh and didn't want to push, but he also didn't want to assume anything either.
"Oh we are finishing dessert. That sounds like the perfect comfort after all of this that isn't just what we're doing already." It was an emotional and mental tired, more than a true physical tired. A relieved kind of tired, really. "Honestly I'd like to just spend more time with you. Whether we do something or nothing. I've enjoyed your companionship from the start, and that has not changed, only gotten stronger."
Not that Loki'd be moving in together any time soon. He loved living with Alice too much, and did still want his independence. But he was glad and enjoyed when he was in the fae's presence and he wanted to keep that a bit more. Especially now.
Puck laughed and broke the hug, collecting the plates long enough to rewarm everything. He sat the heated plates back down and waited for Loki to sit before he took the seat across from him as before.
"I'll just barely hold off on making a very bad joke about the sweetness of all of this. But yes, we should spend more time together in general-- there's never anything wrong with good company, and you've demonstrated a great skill at it."
Puck likewise wouldn't suggest living together. He loved his friends and his loved ones, but also liked his privacy. He lived separate from Xanatos in Manhattan, and he didn't see that changing while he was in Somnius. But Puck would absolutely make time and space for Loki, either when asked or when Puck had the idea himself.
"I'll have to make sure to keep up." Puck gave a playful wink. "But I trust myself to do that."
"I do have quite a bit more of a sweet tooth than you." Loki remembered their experimenting with overly sugared punch at Webby's party. "You do keep up already, but I have had good several centuries more experience at it." The wink made him smile, genuine and fond.
"We can share stories, or read, or just do nothing. All sound like good ideas to me, as does just talking with you. Though I'll try to avoid bringing up anything else that might be disturbing."
"You do, yes." Puck remembered the punch and returned Loki's smile with an equally genuine one.
"Even if you did, I'd be all right with it." Puck assured him simply. Puck understood that it wasn't always going to be lighthearted banter, and was fine with that fact.
"I'll recall some stories, then." he said after some of the pie. "Or maybe I'll look for some more things to decorate with so it's more comfortable. Or both! I've done worse for places."
Loki wouldn't have been alright though. His world had just shifted quite a bit and he needed some time to adapt and process. Not processing had been part of why it had all come now. Loki also made it a point now to finish his food, as that had been tiring. And to especially enjoy some pie. "What kind of decoration would you be thinking?"
Puck considered the question. "Mood lighting, mostly. I like how the fireplace casts, and that's fine for reading and ambience, but.. I want it to feel calmer. Like you're leaving everything else outside when you come in. The antithesis to an office, where you'd go to work." Puck looked around the room.
"Kind of like taking the reading corner and stretching it."
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branchandroot
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Date: 2024-02-04 05:25 am (UTC)He tightened his grip on Loki. Puck wasn't sure what to say to the first two statements, but he opted for, "You're yourself, first. A treasure, who should have been treated better." Puck knew that Loki needed to hear confirmation and so he helped Loki help himself.
"How good that he said he was proud of his sons before leaving. How good that it was that you heard that!" Puck moved until he could position himself to give Loki a kiss. "You heard correctly-- you heard he was proud of both of you. That you were his son, as much as anything else." Puck's eyes shone with assurance and a mix of love and hurt.
"You did hear that, Loki."
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Date: 2024-02-04 05:46 am (UTC)Loki had never called himself Laufeyson, as would be his rightful last name. Even when fooling Malekith, he had claimed to be Loki of Jotunheim. It was why he went by Loki of Asgard most often. Because the only time since his life had gone mad, he'd claimed 'Odinson' as his last name, had been to try to clue Thor in. To reassure his brother, that this betrayal wasn't real. It had mattered, and while he'd...failed. He'd failed, but Thor--if that really hadn't been some feverish dream and trick of this world with the bonfires--Thor had seemed to understand. To still claim him as brother.
Could he be Odinson?
It was all too confusing right then, as emotions ran through him in a messy jumble that left him feeling unstable. Too many too quick, and all tinged with pain that he hadn't yet let himself deal with on top of it all. The loss of his home, all the deaths, the failures he'd had...
He nodded though, as blue-green eyes were at least less lost looking. Still full of a myriad of emotions, but Loki was pulling himself together. Leaning forward and resting his forehead against Puck's own. "...Thank you. ...as you may've guessed, I've not had a time or chance to really deal with, well, anything. Normally my control is also much better."
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Date: 2024-02-04 06:02 am (UTC)He rested his forehead against Loki's for a moment and then knelt down with a little half smile as he shapeshifted into Owen. He had to kneel to make sure he was in the same position, and it looked a little odd, but it worked. Puck's lack of his other magic meant that he couldn't simply cast a spell to help Loki continue to calm down, but Puck could turn into his own form of a wall to help protect Loki and the others he cared about.
"You're welcome, and control is fickle." he said softly. "I'm not judging you. If anything I'm very touched that you wanted to tell me." Puck gave him another kiss. "That's a great deal of trust, I'll continue to show you it's not placed foolishly."
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Date: 2024-02-04 06:24 am (UTC)But he held on, and let himself hide a bit while he calmed down. Tried to let himself be a bit vulnerable, in this instance. He was changing, so maybe the patterns of old could change too.
It's a deep breath in, and out, and that tighter hug once more, before moving to take Owen's hands. "Maybe I do need a bodyguard sometimes." It was a weak joke, but Loki was smilingly faintly. He felt more stable, for the moment. "And I should finish telling you, at least."
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Date: 2024-02-04 05:35 pm (UTC)Puck thought of a joke in response but smiled and moved to kiss one of Loki's hands. Not quite what a butler or bodyguard would actually do in the situation, but it worked. "I know someone who can provide that well." he joked back before straightening up. There was a shimmer of blue magic as Puck turned back into himself. "Again, only speak on it if you want."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-04 09:13 pm (UTC)"Our sister, Hela, appeared before us. She demanded we kneel. Claimed Thor looked nothing like Father, but that I sounded like him when I tried to bargain. In any case, a fight ensued. I called for the bifrost to take us to Asgard, which was a mistake as Hela drew her power from there. We all 3 fought while being transported, and I was knocked out of the bifrost mid transport. I ended up on a planet called Sakaar where most of the trash and detritus of the universe ends up. It was a relatively lawless place for the most part save one pocket of civilization ruled over by a being known as the Grandmaster. His moods were more volatile than mine and getting into, and maintaining, his favor was like dancing on a knife's edge over a fire. His taste in entertainment went to gladiatorial games and blood sport and his appetites to excess even for a hedonist. I was there for months before Thor showed up, and it having only been a few seconds for himself.
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Date: 2024-02-05 01:24 am (UTC)His eyes widened for a moment as he pictured everything-- being isolated but finding what could have looked like the quickest way to survive, only to be met with another tyrant. Puck exhaled and tightened his grip on Loki in a mix of sympathy and a sting of anger on his behalf. Going through any one of the situations he'd described would have been a test of.. Well, everything. But to hear Loki, it had been a steady line of trials. Ones he didn't ask for, and to be frank that Puck didn't agree with. A mad ruler who's moods could change as easily as the seasons, and who never reached the apex of having enough, turning to simply finding more to satisfy? The parallels between the one calling himself the Grandmaster and Oberon weren't just quietly there, they were in bright neon paint, waving their hands and jumping up and down.
Puck inhaled. He and Loki were really similar in a lot of ways. If it weren't so sad, he would have chuckled.
Puck found his voice again and spoke. "That all sounds horrible. I'm glad you didn't go mad from any of it. Did Thor help you escape this grandmaster character?"
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Date: 2024-02-05 01:32 am (UTC)"I followed him, in a larger ship, along with those of the gladiators who rebelled and left. We arrived in the middle of battle to save what refugees Heimdall had managed to find and help of our people. I joined the battle while our people headed for safety, but it was endless. The Goddess of Death drew her power from Asgard, in addition to slain Einherjar old and new. We provided a stop, but not an end. Thor came up with an idea though, and had me implement it."
A pause, and a light chuckle. "Sakaar may have driven all of us mad, actually. The plan was to fulfill a prophecy or a promise, by one of Asgard's great foes. I placed the crown of Surtur on the everlasting flame and revived him, king and ruler of Muspelheim and he destined to destroy Asgard. We fled, leaving Hela and Surtur to battle and destroy each other. Asgard was no more, and Thor was pondering taking us to Earth as he claimed his spot as King."
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Date: 2024-02-05 01:55 am (UTC)When he mentioned a ship and gladiators, Puck nodded in understanding. "Maybe you all realized what needed to happen. If Hela drew power from Asgard then.." Then the decision to simply take Asgard out of the equation made sense. But he doubted it had been easy for any of them. "That doesn't sound like madness. If anything, it's grim. Sometimes you have to make a grim decision to cut off a threat before it can grow worse."
He wouldn't think he could just comfort everything out of Loki-- he was a lot but not that naive. Emotional and physical presence could help, and did seem to be working, but Puck knew that this was a long term situation. Luckily being a fae he had the stamina to match. He would continue supporting Loki until he either wore himself out, or until it was finished.
"Is that when you came here?" Puck asked, tilting his head slightly.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 02:00 am (UTC)"He killed half our remaining people, Heimdall included. He would've killed Thor if I hadn't given up the stone. We fought. I also...tried to kill him. To seemingly betray my people and my brother to join his service." A pause, and now blue-green eyes dropped. "I failed. I was going unconscious, with his hand around my throat, when I next woke up here. I have vague memories of an owl, but that's all."
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Date: 2024-02-05 02:45 am (UTC)As Loki explained everything that had happened after, Puck's breath came out in a shaky exhale. "You.." He'd tried. He really had tried to go against what sounded like an enormous threat, even with the risk of destroying his relationships. When Loki described dying, Puck cleared his throat and then began to first cry-- slow tears, before it turned into steady weeping. He took a few breaths to steady himself, which did help, but didn't stop the tears in the slightest.
Fae had higher empathy by default, but this also just came with Puck's personality. Hearing that a loved one had gone through so much and tried one final time to right things had proven too much. Puck found his wits after a moment and looked to Loki steadily before opening his arms and leaving the decision of whatever Loki needed in Loki's hands.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 02:52 am (UTC)After all, while destroying Asgard was not his 'fault' in many ways, the subsequent slaughter by Thanos was. That was even supposing an infinity stone could be destroyed. Even his own 'death' was a way to make amends, wasn't it? Or had that been just as futile ultimately. Gamora hadn't thought so, but neither of them had survived the Mad Titan's quest.
Then Puck was clearly indicating that no blow would come. Comfort was actually being offered, and Loki was only all the more confused. "...why? I...don't understand why you're not angry with me, or..." He didn't know. Loki just expected some kind of censure instead of this. The swirl of mixed and chaotic emotions and uncertainty were all over his posture and in his eyes.
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Date: 2024-02-05 04:03 am (UTC)"Or.. what? Yelling at you? Demanding why you did or didn't do something?" Puck found his voice easily and asked around a surprised half laugh. "It's empathy, Loki!" Puck shook his head as he just went ahead and said what was needed. It was empathy, yes. Puck reached up to wipe his eyes.
"It's empathy, and it's love. It's because that I love you. You need to hear that."
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Date: 2024-02-05 04:09 am (UTC)He couldn't find words--except that was a lie. He had too many, Loki had so many words he wasn't sure what ones to use or how to say them or even to make them make sense to himself much less to anyone else. He felt adrift, and in a way, also offered an anchor. Did he, could he take that anchor? Would it really be alright to do so?
Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself.
Remembered words and a pained parting, and he shook his head to wipe away the memory and reached for Puck. This time he wouldn't deny the anchor offered. He needed it, clinging to the fae and letting sobs from deep inside wrack him.
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Date: 2024-02-05 05:32 am (UTC)As Loki clung to him and sobbed, Puck held him tightly. His hands resumed rubbing small circles and he said gently into Loki's hair,
"Your Puck is right here."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-05 05:37 am (UTC)"...I turned away the last person who ever truly loved me." Whisper quiet, and slightly hoarse from sobbing. "I didn't want to this time. You keep saying I'm a treasure--I'm not. You are. I've done horrible things, and been wrong my whole life, and when I try to do better I fail at it. But the gift you give me..." All kind of a babble there. "I don't feel worth it." A long and tired sigh, but Loki brought his head up. So Puck could see blue-green eyes that looked very young and lost but desperate too. "But I will protect it and keep it safe. I'll find away to be worth it, Puck. For you."
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Date: 2024-02-05 06:55 am (UTC)"Then don't, this time." Puck said as quietly. At Loki's comment about not feeling worth it, Puck met Loki's gaze and felt his heart break a bit. Humans, it seemed, weren't the only beings who held onto the idea of needing to be worthy of love. It was a sad fact of things. But Puck would meet Loki where he was.
He leaned forward and pulled Loki into another tight hug. "Thank you. I know you'll do all of that, because you've already shown you can." Another kiss to Loki's head. "We'll protect each other, like we spoke of earlier."
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Date: 2024-02-05 11:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 12:08 am (UTC)"You're welcome. Would you like to finish dessert, or do anything else? Or do nothing at all?". Puck caught the tiredness in Loki's laugh and didn't want to push, but he also didn't want to assume anything either.
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Date: 2024-02-06 12:12 am (UTC)Not that Loki'd be moving in together any time soon. He loved living with Alice too much, and did still want his independence. But he was glad and enjoyed when he was in the fae's presence and he wanted to keep that a bit more. Especially now.
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Date: 2024-02-06 12:36 am (UTC)"I'll just barely hold off on making a very bad joke about the sweetness of all of this. But yes, we should spend more time together in general-- there's never anything wrong with good company, and you've demonstrated a great skill at it."
Puck likewise wouldn't suggest living together. He loved his friends and his loved ones, but also liked his privacy. He lived separate from Xanatos in Manhattan, and he didn't see that changing while he was in Somnius. But Puck would absolutely make time and space for Loki, either when asked or when Puck had the idea himself.
"I'll have to make sure to keep up." Puck gave a playful wink. "But I trust myself to do that."
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Date: 2024-02-06 12:40 am (UTC)"We can share stories, or read, or just do nothing. All sound like good ideas to me, as does just talking with you. Though I'll try to avoid bringing up anything else that might be disturbing."
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Date: 2024-02-06 12:53 am (UTC)"Even if you did, I'd be all right with it." Puck assured him simply. Puck understood that it wasn't always going to be lighthearted banter, and was fine with that fact.
"I'll recall some stories, then." he said after some of the pie. "Or maybe I'll look for some more things to decorate with so it's more comfortable. Or both! I've done worse for places."
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Date: 2024-02-06 01:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-06 01:25 am (UTC)"Kind of like taking the reading corner and stretching it."
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