[Loki didn't dislike the woman, but he wasn't sure what to make of her. Other than his fears at first that she was a dark elf somehow. But on to the more pertinent topic.]
I was the only one in my cell, compared to others. What you need to know is that Asgardian dungeons are very very old. Almost as old as the vaults that came to be Odin's.
[Which was saying something, if Loki was calling them old.]
Things have been upgraded, obviously, but the cells themselves are rooms set into stone, but bordered in white on the inside. There are no bars, as we are kept within via a force field that is transparent but for the shimmer of light where it connects to the stone around us. They are sterile white within, with a view to the hallways outside. I was lucky, as I had a corner cell--and also a mother who insisted on making me 'comfortable'.
[Loki's expression was somewhat neutral, expressionless as he spoke. Not entirely closed off, as he was sharing and he trusted Kaiba. But it was not easy to deal with all the same.]
She would visit, via an illusion cast that is similar to what you might know as Astral Projection. She is also the reason I lived, and was in prison instead of executed. But that's not my point. Despite all the books she sent me, or as comfortable as she could make it...I still indulged in creating illusions. Of myself usually, taking the throne rightfully, cheered by the masses. Being lauded as proper king and heir, and worthy of Mjolnir as well.
She visited once, interrupting one of these illusions of mine. Inserting herself into it with ease, to ask what I was doing. She asked if it made me feel better. I told her it did not make me feel worse.
[A pause, and Loki flagged down a server to place a quick order. Two drinks, one non-alcoholic, and food. It was a needed break.]
She reminded me, that if you cast enough illusions, you risk forgetting what is real. At the time, that was precisely what I wanted, given my reality. Potentially 4000 or so years in solitary, essentially, never visited nor thought of except by her.
[ Kaiba listens intently, interest and a hint of worry in his expression. It must've been hell. Prison existed to punish, sure (at least in his reality) but it could be cruel.
He let the message sink in a moment before answering. ]
I needed her help to snap out of it. I kept hearing Mokuba's words in my head, about how he'd hated who I'd become due to my choices. But...I have to take responsibility and move on, there's no way to that reality. And even if there was, it wouldn't be so perfect. Right?
[Loki was pleased to see the other figure out what Loki was trying to say and teach him. There was pride in the statement and smile for Seto.]
Take any lesson from it you can, take what suits you and what you want that won't hurt you, and then treat the rest as no more than an illusion. And I'm here to listen, if you want to speak about it.
[One half of that smile turned wry.]
If you'd like, I can even muse with you on the nature of fate versus free will, or tell you of the wyrd, and we can conjecture all we like about the various possibilities.
I've never liked the idea of being controlled by fate.
[ It's said quickly, like he thinks about this a Lot. ]
For a while my life was plagued by...ancient magic. I hated acknowledging it, but I was cursed by it often enough. A whole war from ancient Egypt started up again when the relics the ghosts were sealed in were unearthed. A classmate was possessed by the spirit of a trickster pharaoh...who claimed I was the reincarnation of the priest who'd been his devotee and rival, and that the priest's influence created me.
I've seen visions and I sympathize with the priest and his fallen lover, I guess. But the idea that everything about me was decided thousands of years ago...I hate it.
[Loki listens, and then chuckles softly. Reaching out to clap Kaiba on the shoulder affectionately. Keeping that hand there.]
This is part of why I like you, by the way. I'm very much not fond of the idea that my life is not my own and subject to my own choices. I'm not surprised you're similar.
[That made Loki chuckle more, and a squeeze was given to Kaiba's shoulder before he pulled back.]
I should probably worry about how often the Wyrd has come up lately. It's difficult to explain though. We do not have gods, in Asgard, the way you would think of. We have clergy, though I didn't interact much outside of official duties. But the powers we looked to were the Norns, who would be priestesses essentially with three principle ones being closer to myth and legend and 'god' as you might think of it, and then the Wyrd.
The Wyrd isn't a they. It's...a hard to explain concept. It can be translated as Fate, or Destiny, but those are too simplistic for it alone. Those terms also imply an active control, which there is and is not.
[This would make sense in a bit. Promise.]
The norns are beings who are of the Wyrd, in that they interpret it and potentially create it or manage it. There are different types of Norns, and one can be appointed to the position, but they are always female. There are three principle norns of legend though, who are the closest I'd say we had to gods the way other people do. Urdr, Verdandi, and Skuld.
[There waiter approached with their drinks, non alcoholic for Kaiba but ale for Loki.]
Mind you, I'm no fan of the idea that my life and choices are not my own to make or control.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2024-02-08 03:41 am (UTC)[ He finally looks back up when he can muster a neutral expression. ]
Were you alone? I've heard what even short periods in solitary can do...
no subject
Date: 2024-02-08 03:56 am (UTC)[Loki didn't dislike the woman, but he wasn't sure what to make of her. Other than his fears at first that she was a dark elf somehow. But on to the more pertinent topic.]
I was the only one in my cell, compared to others. What you need to know is that Asgardian dungeons are very very old. Almost as old as the vaults that came to be Odin's.
[Which was saying something, if Loki was calling them old.]
Things have been upgraded, obviously, but the cells themselves are rooms set into stone, but bordered in white on the inside. There are no bars, as we are kept within via a force field that is transparent but for the shimmer of light where it connects to the stone around us. They are sterile white within, with a view to the hallways outside. I was lucky, as I had a corner cell--and also a mother who insisted on making me 'comfortable'.
[Loki's expression was somewhat neutral, expressionless as he spoke. Not entirely closed off, as he was sharing and he trusted Kaiba. But it was not easy to deal with all the same.]
She would visit, via an illusion cast that is similar to what you might know as Astral Projection. She is also the reason I lived, and was in prison instead of executed. But that's not my point. Despite all the books she sent me, or as comfortable as she could make it...I still indulged in creating illusions. Of myself usually, taking the throne rightfully, cheered by the masses. Being lauded as proper king and heir, and worthy of Mjolnir as well.
She visited once, interrupting one of these illusions of mine. Inserting herself into it with ease, to ask what I was doing. She asked if it made me feel better. I told her it did not make me feel worse.
[A pause, and Loki flagged down a server to place a quick order. Two drinks, one non-alcoholic, and food. It was a needed break.]
She reminded me, that if you cast enough illusions, you risk forgetting what is real. At the time, that was precisely what I wanted, given my reality. Potentially 4000 or so years in solitary, essentially, never visited nor thought of except by her.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-08 04:04 am (UTC)He let the message sink in a moment before answering. ]
I needed her help to snap out of it. I kept hearing Mokuba's words in my head, about how he'd hated who I'd become due to my choices. But...I have to take responsibility and move on, there's no way to that reality. And even if there was, it wouldn't be so perfect. Right?
no subject
Date: 2024-02-08 04:07 am (UTC)[Loki was pleased to see the other figure out what Loki was trying to say and teach him. There was pride in the statement and smile for Seto.]
Take any lesson from it you can, take what suits you and what you want that won't hurt you, and then treat the rest as no more than an illusion. And I'm here to listen, if you want to speak about it.
[One half of that smile turned wry.]
If you'd like, I can even muse with you on the nature of fate versus free will, or tell you of the wyrd, and we can conjecture all we like about the various possibilities.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-09 01:53 am (UTC)[ It's said quickly, like he thinks about this a Lot. ]
For a while my life was plagued by...ancient magic. I hated acknowledging it, but I was cursed by it often enough. A whole war from ancient Egypt started up again when the relics the ghosts were sealed in were unearthed. A classmate was possessed by the spirit of a trickster pharaoh...who claimed I was the reincarnation of the priest who'd been his devotee and rival, and that the priest's influence created me.
I've seen visions and I sympathize with the priest and his fallen lover, I guess. But the idea that everything about me was decided thousands of years ago...I hate it.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-09 02:02 am (UTC)This is part of why I like you, by the way. I'm very much not fond of the idea that my life is not my own and subject to my own choices. I'm not surprised you're similar.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-09 02:29 am (UTC)Same here. I'd love to hear your philosophical thoughts if we have the time, by the way.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-09 10:18 pm (UTC)I should probably worry about how often the Wyrd has come up lately. It's difficult to explain though. We do not have gods, in Asgard, the way you would think of. We have clergy, though I didn't interact much outside of official duties. But the powers we looked to were the Norns, who would be priestesses essentially with three principle ones being closer to myth and legend and 'god' as you might think of it, and then the Wyrd.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-12 12:56 am (UTC)The Wyrd...what were they like?
no subject
Date: 2024-02-12 02:46 am (UTC)[This would make sense in a bit. Promise.]
The norns are beings who are of the Wyrd, in that they interpret it and potentially create it or manage it. There are different types of Norns, and one can be appointed to the position, but they are always female. There are three principle norns of legend though, who are the closest I'd say we had to gods the way other people do. Urdr, Verdandi, and Skuld.
[There waiter approached with their drinks, non alcoholic for Kaiba but ale for Loki.]
Mind you, I'm no fan of the idea that my life and choices are not my own to make or control.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-12 03:52 am (UTC)[ Seto takes his drink and has a thought or two. ]
Then...a strong enough will must be able to write its own story, right? To make one's voice heard over the noise. It has to be possible.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-12 04:25 am (UTC)[Loki had already made his view on it known; twice now even.]
As I've also said before, I see parts of myself within you, and would rather you not make some of the mistakes that I have.