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whose_son_am_i

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From:

whose_son_am_i

Oh I'm not focusing on that.

[Loki said conversationally, not at all upset and his tone decidedly pleasant.]

I was more curious about why you were faltering. We've done these exercises plenty, to the point that you're starting to gain the muscle memory and don't have to 'think'. Which is good.

From:

blue_ice

Mm. So I should be ready...

[ He exhaled. ]

I had something else on my mind. I need to put in more work to clear those thoughts. I will next time.

From:

whose_son_am_i

I'm not mad, or upset, if you couldn't tell. I'm also willing to listen, as sometimes getting those distracted thoughts out is the best way to deal with them.

From:

blue_ice

Appreciate it.

[ Seto waited a few moments longer, using the walk to clear his head a little. He thought through a few possible ways to describe what was going on with him, and settled on: ]

...do you remember the night at the party with the mistletoe? You told me that human teenagers value their first kiss. I didn't get it then.

I do now. I'm both...happy, and afraid of losing him.

From:

whose_son_am_i

[This is why Loki had suggested a walk. Still exercise in its way, but it would allow Seto to come at this in his own way.]

Ah. Your Pharaoh? Congratulations as well.

[Smiling and reaching out to squeeze Kaiba's shoulder in encouragement. This couldn't be easy for the younger man.]

From:

blue_ice

[ He relaxed visibly, smiling a little. The support really helped. ]

No one else ever inspired that specific feeling in me...heh.

But he's my first relationship. I'd like to think culture taught me enough about how it works, but...you seem to have a good relationship. Can I ask how you keep it going?

From:

whose_son_am_i

[Loki was flattered, and chuckled a bit.]

Well, I have experience in relationships, but I will say that having one with Puck is the first time I've honestly cared in the way I think you mean. But it's not easy--as you've seen, and understand, I have trust issues.

[Another shoulder squeeze.]

Fortunately, you and he and my friends here are helping me to be better. To not let those get to me as much. So are you asking for what to do when you honestly care, or what to do culture wise?

From:

blue_ice

[ Seto didn't need long to think about this. ]

Caring's the most important thing. I want to give him everything I can without pushing him away with my worrying about love being a weakness.

From:

whose_son_am_i

[Loki nodded, quiet for a bit himself as they walked.]

So, this is based on my own small experience with caring, but also on observation of others over the centuries. Keep that in mind.

[A small caveat there, but he'd still do his best to help Seto.]

It's hard, but talk to him. When you're unsure, or nervous. Really converse with him. I doubt he's entered into this relationship with no idea of what you're like, so he probably understands better than you might think.

I've been lucky, as Puck has had relationships that were more than just casual before. Although he's had those too. But it means...he's been patient, and willing to meet me where I am. Honestly? I know I care for him as a partner, as more than a friend. But I'm still trying to tease out the specifics and to get to know that larger emotion. It extends to you, and Alice, and Eilonwy, and Gamora, as well. But I'm not used to loving others. Especially not as a lover beyond the physical side of things.

From:

blue_ice

[ Seto listens appreciatively, knowing he has a lot to learn. They're both learning...in different places, in different ways. He feels a surge of warmth at the reminder that he is loved, and smiles. ]

I'm not that experienced in the different kinds of love myself. But I agree...and.

Attraction's one thing. Respect, helping him understand how much I value him. But to me, one of the most important aspects of all kinds of love is loyalty. I'd give so much of myself to help him...or my brother, or you.

From:

whose_son_am_i

Loki was honestly touched, tilting his head and smiling at the other fondly. "Thank you. Just so your loyalty is not misplaced. That's what I'd worry about, but then...loyalty to others than myself is kind of new to me."

From:

blue_ice

"It gets easier with practice," Seto admitted softly. "I didn't have to practice beyond Mokuba before, but now..."

He still smiled. "I've been picking up stray books in the library on my breaks at work. They're all full of flowery prose that makes me cringe, but it's at least giving me a guideline on how to romance. Touch, gifts, listening, appreciation...it's just figuring out the balance."

From:

whose_son_am_i

"Well, let me ask you this--and I can probably predict your reaction." Loki said, and there was a spark of amusement in blue-green eyes. "Are you trying to seduce him, or are you trying to show that you care for him?"

From:

blue_ice

Seto sputtered, his cheeks heating up a bit. Yes, they'd gotten a little...involved, as teen boys tend to do. But he wasn't that obvious, was he?

"...can't we have both? But caring's the priority, yes."

From:

whose_son_am_i

"You can, and that would be the 'correct' answer. Not that there really is one, other than maybe don't be an ass." Loki said while chuckling. "Well, the caring is somewhat easier. Or at least will be for you, considering your blush." Seto you need to get used to being teased affectionately.

"It can be as simple as just doing a nice thing for him. Letting him know, and see, and maybe hear, that you appreciate and care for him. The simplest way is just spending time together, and that's often the most fun too."

From:

blue_ice

Seto scrubbed at his cheek. He hated that his feelings around this particular subject were so obvious. But as he calmed down, he could think.

"...cooking a meal for him, maybe? I'm not the best chef, but I've learned more in my time here."

From:

whose_son_am_i

"I think that's a good start." Loki agreed, then reached out to squeeze Kaiba's shoulder in affection. "I'm proud of you, too. It's not easy."

From:

blue_ice

Seto grinned at him. "Thank you, but we'll be all right. Part of what I love about him is that we're both into challenges. I won't let a simple meal defeat me."

The old confidence was back as he forged ahead. "...I don't know Puck as well as you do, but we work together. I know he likes to flex his mental muscles too. A good game can be an avenue of bonding."

From:

whose_son_am_i

Loki chuckled and grinned. "Oh I know he does and he can. He matches me well." Easy enough to let his fondness for the fae show through. "We challenge each other. Even just to be playful." Loki raised an eyebrow though, with mischief in his smile. "Unless you're suggesting a game for all of us. I'd be careful playing with two Tricksters though."

From:

blue_ice

"Three tricksters," Seto corrected, a little grimace crossing his face. "It's Atem's style too, and he's used magic to his advantage before...but always for a noble reason, where I happened to be the antagonist."

He still had those hints of his past kicking around, but it didn't bother him so much anymore. "So I'd need everyone to agree to play fairly...but I think I'm at the peak of mere mortals in keeping up."

From:

whose_son_am_i

"You might also have to define 'fairly'." Loki said with a soft chuckle. "You do keep up well. You just need a little nudging sometimes to let your imagination and creativity flourish more. You're certainly intelligent enough." All things Loki approved of and valued in the other, in case Kaiba didn't realize.

From:

blue_ice

Seto grinned at him, determined now to play.

"I can do that. I'm used to dealing with contracts. I just..."

His steps quickened a little. He latched an arm around a tree to half-swing around it, leaning on it for a bit. "Can't believe I ever thought I hated him. All the fixation should've been a clue at some point."

From:

whose_son_am_i

"Oh there'll be times you'll hate him still, but love and hate are complicated things." Loki said, honestly smiling at how the other was letting himself be happy. Good. "But so long as, overall, he makes you happy and you have each other's backs and enjoy spending time with each other? I think you'll be alright."

From:

blue_ice

"We...enjoy each other a lot," Seto admitted, still looking sheepish. "And I'll work through it. I already lost him once, I don't want to lose him again."

His conviction was clear. He certainly looked brighter and more confident.

"...Heh. I should probably let you go if I'm not actually going to train today," he added. "I talk about him too much."

From:

whose_son_am_i

"You assume I'm so busy that I'm not enjoying this time spent with you?" Loki said with a grin. "I assure you, if I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't. But I am honored you trust in me to confide this." A pause, and Loki looked at the trees around them. "I am new, when it comes to having the emotions actually mean something. I know how to play the game, the moves and words and motions. But actually having it mean something is..."

Loki wasn't sure still how to frame it all.